My Notes to Myself...

November - Gobble Gobble!!!

2011-11-06T12:55:00.000-08:00

Wow - October went by quick....and its been a crazy couple of weeks so I'm sorry I've been gone. My aniversary was last month and it was amazing! Hard to believe that I have been a married woman for ten whole years!!
We finished with softball and now both kids are starting basketball. I have to admit that I am so excited to be able to sit in the bleachers and cheer for my kids for a change :)

Derek got a promotion a few weeks ago. It is such a blessing too - I am so proud of him. He wasn't thrilled, it wasn't a promotion he asked for, but I think deep down he was proud of himself too.

Did I mention that I am pumped that its November?? Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday!!! I can't wait!!! Not to mention my birthday is the day before and the best shopping day of the year is the day after, so its going to be a fabulous week!!!

I'm changing...

2011-07-01T20:07:00.001-07:00

I am going through some changes....and because of that, I wanted to start fresh....

Please join me!! :) www.mylifeplaylist.blogspot.com

So exciting!

2011-02-26T19:40:00.000-08:00

Bamboopink is a new fashionable, yet affordable jewelry line made and designed by a famous, high-end designer whose current line is sold in upscale department sotres, is all over the red carpet and worn by Oprah! This compay is the first of its kind, an internet launched company with virtual trunk shows...there are no parties to host and o phone calls to make. Sign-ups are free, with no risks or obligations.

The free signing period is only for 30 days (through March 15), after that you will have to pay to be a consultant.

What sets this company apart from other direct sales compaies:

* GROUND FLOOR opportunity (probably won't ever happen to you again!)

* Strongest comp plan in the industry

* Very successful "designer" multi-million dollar jeweler making/backing this jewelry,
so sure to be successful!

* Instead of growing one sales rep at a time, this business model usig the free sign-up
period - we can grow fifty sales reps at a time - but the time to do that is NOW!

This company is goint to explode in a few weeks with a national press release and official launch. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So be one of the first to sign up!

Then you can do the same as me and get credit for signing up your friends, which is what we are compensated for with jewelry,cash and/or an ipad. It is not about sellig the jewelry at this point, but networking and creating interest. IF you decide not to sell, you have lost nothig and your name is dropped from the list.

It's simple to sign up, go to my site: www.bamboopink.net/cshoptaw

Opportunity knocking!

2011-02-24T20:05:00.000-08:00

I am very excited about an opportunity presented to me today by a family member. I am still waiting for a little more information, but as soon as I have all my facts and information, I will let you know!! :)

Heartache

2011-02-17T18:31:00.001-08:00

So, yesterday was 2 years since my dad died. It doesn't hurt any less now than it did then. I miss my dad more than anything.

I LOVE....

2011-02-12T21:32:00.001-08:00

I said in my last post I was on a journey to self re-discovery....so I am slowly trying to find myself. So, today, I am going to share 20 things that I truly love, aside from the obvious which would be my husband and my kids.

1. Severe weather - see previous posts for explanations on this..lol.

2. Softball weather - these are the days that are a little warm but cool at the same time. It feels like there is no temperature because your not hot or cold, there might be a light breeze but it doesn't bother you and you can smell the cool moisture in the air. Its the perfect day to play softball. I love those days.

3. Books. I love to read. There is nothing on the planet better than a good story to take you away from your current struggles or worries and help ease your mind.

4. Online shopping. I rarely if ever buy anything online, but I prefer to shop online at home and then go to the store to get it. That is so weird I know, but I like to read the reviews and price compare and so forth. If it is anything that costs more than $100 you can bet it takes me a month to buy it. I just spent a month and a half purchasing a new washer and dryer. Last year, I shopped for 3 months just for a new television. My husband ended up waiting until I was gone to a board meeting before he just went and bought one himself.

5. Mascara. I love mascara. I rarely go without it. I get compliments alot on my "beautiful", "long", "thick" lashes, but really, if I am not wearing mascara, you don't see them. They are few, thin and short. Without makeup I look lashless. lol.

6. My blackberry. I cannot survive without my phone. You will not see me without it and I don't know how to go the whole day without it. I am seriously attached to it. It is my lifeline. For real.

7. Weird food combinations. I think I have touched on this before....but I eat weird combinations. Easy cheese on my hot dogs, Cheez its and ranch dip, pintos and cheese with cheetos....it goes on and on. ;)

8. Disney movies. I love fairytales. I love Disney. I have always just wanted to live at Disney World. It really is the happiest place on earth. I think the old Disney movies are the best - Snow White, Robin Hood, Peter Pan. I love the music, everything.

9. Old houses. I love old houses. I think every house has a story and the older the house, the better the story. I think I get this from my love of books....my imagination tends to run wild.

10. Trees. trees are my happy place. The woods, a forest, I love them. It relaxes me and I try to keep my trees as a focal point throughout the day to keep me balanced and relaxed.

11. Sweet Tea. And nobody makes sweet tea like my dad used to.

12. Quotes. I love quotes. I don't know why but I do. I have tons of them. I write them down and try to memorize them. Whether they are inspirational or silly, I love sayings. Not cheesy ones like "just believe", but things that people can appreciate or make someone laugh. For instance, my Southern Belle shirt that I am wearing today says "Lord fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and nudge me when I've said enough". I love that.

13. Music. I love music. I have so many grooveshark playlists its not even funny. I have everything - Classical, songs from musicals, country, rock, love songs, easy listening, rock and roll, classic rock, you name it, I have it, and I listen to them all. regularly. Right now I am on a serious grunge kick..like 90's alternative....I also love to fall in love with some random song from a movie or tv show. I go look it up online ad find it on grooveshark. I have a playlist of just those songs. My favorite soundtracks are the Twilight Saga soundtracks. Those songs are dark and moody and for some reason I find them relaxing. I heard Peyton from One Tree Hill refer to her Ipod as "100 songs to save your life". Thats my grooveshark account. 1,000 songs to save mine. lol.

14. Pictures. I love pictures. I have a horrible memory and the only way I can remember anything is to have a picture of it. I love to flip through my photo albums.

15. Romance. I love romance. I love to be romanced. and I married a man that is soooo not into romance. Don't get me wrong, he has his moments, but in the grand scheme of things, he is not a Romeo by any means. And I have this constant need to feel like Juliet. I want him to say things to me like Edward does Bella, like Noah did Alli, like Nick did to Kat....(for you non-movie buffs out there that last couple is from Wedding Date....and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie). aaawww swoon *big sigh* lol.

16. Movies. Movies are really up there with books for the same reason.

17. Space. I love outerspace. I could stare at stars forever. I am a nature girl, can you tell?

18. Pineapple. I know this is totally random right? I love pineapple. Its one of my favorite thigs to eat. I love love love fresh pineapple.

19. White gummy bears. I also love the white gummy bears. The rest are not as good to me, but the white ones rock... go figure, they are pineapple!

20. Brent and Sam / Ben and Jerry. I have an ongoing love affair with four different men other than my husband.....Brent and Sam Key Lime cookies (and I hate lime, but those are DIVINE) and Ben and Jerry ice cream. Which is probably why I look like an orca whale, but some B/J chocolate fudge brownie gets me every time ;)

So, there is some random 20 things I love. I am a random person and I enjoy random. Lol.

I hope you all have a great start to the week. I have to work from home tomorrow. Due to the weather snowing us in Wed - Fri last week I believe it will be a long one!!

XOXO

C.

Me. Exactly who is that again?

2011-02-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

I've been gone. I know. But I am back now and I am ready to document what I am going through. My blog has been an outlet for me in the past and to be honest, the last couple of monhs, I just really haven't been ready to share. I have been struggling emotionally alot and I think now I am at a place that I am ready to turn a corner. I can't go into every thing I have been going through, that would take about 2 hours to type and a week to read lol. But I can share it in bits.

I have spent the last year doing alot of thinking. I absolutely used to love myself. Not in a conceited way or anything. I have always thought I was fat and definitely not pretty. But on the inside, I loved myself. I loved the fact that I could roll with anything. I didn't care what people thought of me and the way I lived my life so long as I was happy, and wasn't conforming to anything someone said I have to be. I was brave. I was fearless. I would shake my butt when I felt like dancing, I would eat an entire pint of ice cream and not feel bad. I would dance in the rain because there is no better music than rolling thunder. I layed on top of my mothers mini van every night staring at stars because there was nothing more peaceful and the picture changed every night. I love change. Same old every day gets boring. My bedroom in highschool was crazy and I loved it. One window had a hula skirt over it for a curtain, my border was actually bright yellow "CAUTION" tape courtesy of a close friend who used it for his truck shows, I had all the taco bell dog dolls tacked above my closet, which had a closet door that was actually a clear shower curtain that held photographs. The wall paper was thick and ribbed and a brown color so it was like cork board and I could tack and hang and never mess it up :) So one wall had about 25 different mall bags tacked in all different ways, from everywhere, Abercrombie, Macys, Wet Seal, Victoria Secret, Banana Republic, everywhere. Another wall had photograps from top to bottom, another wall had a spiral notebook wire stretched out and pinned up I could hang my necklaces from it. I had a dark blue blow up chair covered in glow in the dark stars, I had glow in the dark planets and stars and comets all over my ceiling, and they were actual beige stickers so you couldn't see them when the light was on and I had HUNDREDS, it was like the actual night sky on my ceiling complete with planets here and there, constellations, comets, and stars. It took HOURS to do and I loved it. I loved my room. I slept to my Aerosmith CD's everynight. Music calms me. It was great. I look back and I so miss that girl. I am not like that anymore. I am not fearless. I am afraid of everything. I don't quite roll with everything like I used to. So, in realizing this over the last year that I am not the same person I used to be, I am going to change that. I want to be that person again. Not so much the ACTUAL 17 year old person, but the fearless, brave, unique, optimistic, happy, memory making me. I want to be that person again and I know my husband would like that because it is the person he fell in love with. I think having children scared me so bad that it changed me completely. Almost changed me too much. I had children at 18 and 19 and I don't want to be the stereo typical mother. I try to do things with my kids to make them appreciate and love life. I want them to grow up to be like I was - dying for adventure, ready to go at a moments notice, unfraid of the real world and ready to take it on. I was fiercly independent and couldn't wait to be on my own. Then when I got the actual chance, I didn't go anywhere. Its funny to me when I look back, but I can change that now. So I am going to work on it. Hopefully in another year when I look back at this, I will realize I succeeded. 2009 was the hardest year of my life and it was truly an eye opener. I realized that I couldn't take so much for granted and I shouldn't put up with alot of what I did and still do. I am changing and I have already changed quite a bit over the last year and I am okay with that. In fact, as I said when I was 17, "It's all good"....and of course "I'm ready....bring it on".

Haskell Fest

2010-06-03T21:14:00.000-07:00

Night one of Haskell Fest is over! we did pretty well. We won our first game and lost our second...we play again tomorrow! Yippee!!

Do you even remember me???

2010-06-02T16:50:00.000-07:00

Hi there! It's been over 2 months since I blogged. I am so sorry. We have been super busy these last couple of months at the ball park, work, school, just life in general. I love being at the ball park and this weekend is our big softball tournament and Haskell Fest, which promises to be bigger and better than last year! Last year we had a water slide, a dunking booth, a bouncy house, face painting and a 6 and under softball tournament with three teams. It lasted all day Saturday. This year, we have 2 water slides, the bouncy house, face painting, bbq dinners, a car show, and a 3 day tournament for 6 and under, 8 and under and 12 and under!! DEFINITELY a step up!! We have worked hard on it and I am so excited to get it underway! :)

I promise to try to stop by and post more often! I hope you all had a safe and wonderful Memorial Day!!!

Carson is 8!!!

2010-03-20T09:46:00.001-07:00

My sweet baby boy turned 8 today. He's such a big boy!!! I love you CArson

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL WEATHER!

2010-03-14T14:18:00.000-07:00

Today, I get to do something i have not done in soooo long. I get to open the windows of my home and clean. It feels so wonderful outside. Very light breeze, perfect temperature. Perfect Spring weather. LOVE. IT.

So it begins!!

2010-03-11T10:32:00.001-08:00

It's official folks...Its springtime in Arkansas!! Woop woop!! :) How do I know this you ask? Two things that I have a sick unending love or awe for have arrived: 1. Softball 2. Severe weather/tornados.

Yes, Arkansas had its first round of all nighter terrifying weather. For some reason, it calms me. I love the lightening, the thunder, the rolling clouds. It scares me to death and I worry about people I care about in harms way...but I love severe weather at the same time. I know. Sick.

and.....Sudden Impact debuts at a 6u tourney this weekend!! YAY!!! SOOOOO EXCITED!!!! I will let you know how we do!

Okay then...

2010-02-24T15:17:00.000-08:00

Okay, when I make a major purchase I simmer over the decision for awhile. I have been tv shopping for a year. It has taken me more than a year to commit to getting DISH. I have been without television since June, 2009. I thought I was going to die. I missed it so much. Well, a few weeks ago, while I was in a meeting at the ballpark, the hubby decided to go out and purchase a tv. While he got a good deal on it, I nearly had a heart attack. I just like to slow walk this stuff....apparently, hubby liked the shock factor.

Last Thursday I told him I wanted to start looking into trading my car in. I don't buy new vehicles. I don't want to pay that much for them especially if you are going to need a new one in 5 years. Why pay $20,000.00 over 5 years for a brand new or 1 year old car when you will end up needing a new one in about 6 years? Pointless. I rather pay $10,000 or less for a 5 or 6 year old vehicle that I can drive 5 0r 6 years. My last vehicle (although not the most beautiful thing in the world - but it was decent) was 13 years old this year. I have driven it for almost 4 years and it had just started to fall apart really. We paid about $3,000 for it all together. Someone knew my father-in-law and wanted to get it out of there garage. Pretty sweet deal for no car payment and a vehicle. :) Anyway, it was time to move on. I told him that morning that I wanted another blazer like my old one (which was a 96 blazer)....he came and got my car in the middle of the day and traded it in on a 2001 blazer 4x4 (which I soooooo wanted). He already had the papers signed and done before I even got to see it!! I was shocked. Mad. Upset. Furious....but I loved it so I got over it quickly.

I couldn't believe he did that - but I am very happy (so far) with his decision. It is cherry red (which I am not a fan of red, but I admit that it is pretty) and its previous owner took very very very good care of it. It also has low miles which is a HUGE plus.

So, I have threatened his life and told him that if he makes another major purchase without me involved he will pay :) But I love him....he does spoil me.

Happy Valentines Day!

2010-02-14T14:01:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day!! Derek and I bought a new television yesterday. I am so excited!! We needed a new one! I just can't wait to get my Dish in!! :) Finally get to watch tv. Today would be perfect if my home was all cleaned up already...and I could watch it snow in my fuzzy jammies and watch Lifetime Movies in my bed!!! So Ready!!!

Snow and Ice

2010-02-12T16:56:00.002-08:00

Weather in Arkansas....we had snow and ice twice this week!! Wow. There was a "chance" of snow after 3:00 p.m. on Monday...we get up Monday and SNOW ON THE GROUND. and it kept coming and coming! Derek said the roads weren't really bad so I drove myself to work...I knew better. I ended up doing a donut in the middle of the highway (Thank the Good Lord no one was around) and spun off into a ditch. I somehow managed to land as though I had backed into an old driveway. I somehow missed the culvert that I by all reason should have hit. If I had, my car would have flipped. I had an angel with me that morning and I was so blessed and thankful. I was fine and my car undamaged. Very Blessed.

The kids enjoyed the snow and made a snowman and threw snow balls at everyone. Its been a cold slippery week so I am glad its over! The snow falling off the roof cause the roof of our porch to cave in so we have had to temporarily prop it back up to get in and out of the house and will have to replace it in the near future. I know the hubby is so excited about that! lol.

I hope everyone locally has had a safe and wonderful time in our snow!!

Arkansas winter weather sucks. Period.

2010-01-29T03:35:00.000-08:00

okay, so if we are gonna have winter weather...can we PPPLLLLEEEEAAASSSSEEEE get some in my area??? My kids get their hopes up, I could use a long weekend, and then NOTHING. Everywhere around us gets it but we just need to move <> this much to the north or west.....it sucks. Its 5:30 in the morning...its been sleeting for an hour! and its NOT STICKING. Irritating!!!

OMG.

2010-01-27T18:52:00.000-08:00

So I went to Walmart to get some make up b/c I am out...and they didn't even have the brand of foundation I used! WTC? So, now I have to shop foundation...any suggestions?

Milestone post!!!!

2010-01-22T15:35:00.000-08:00

This is my official 100th post!! YAY ME!! :) That's crazy that I have documented various aspects of my life 100 times!! ha ha ha...

I am super pumped about tomorrow - the first day of softball/baseball sign ups. I am soooo ready for the season to get underway!! But before you know it, it will be done! That is pretty much my agenda for the next 3 or 4 weekends so i don't have too much going on other than that!!!

I am currently waiting on the hubby to get home. We should have a quiet evening at home tonight since the kid are at the Big Buck Classic with their aunt this evening.

I hope you all have a happy weekend!!!

So this Saturday starts....

2010-01-17T20:41:00.000-08:00

BALL SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have signups starting this Saturday. I. AM. PUMPED. :)

I love love love softball and my girls and I can't wait. We have alot of work ahead of us and some great changes but I can't wait to see all the girls back out there. Not official word on all of them yet, but I still can't wait and I hope that they all return.

I had the most boring weekend. Well, not really boring just crummy. Derek went out and I stayed home all Friday night. It broke my heart and he felt bad when he got home and saw how upset I really was about it. I would just like some time at home with my husband. One on one. For some reason when we have "alone time" with no kids, we have to go some where or do something that is just easier done without the kids. So, hopefully we will get another one of these rare chances soon.

Mom came and got my dishes. That made my Saturday. When Derek and I got married I did my kitchen in Ivy. I had cute little ivy dishes and for some reason I went nuts. I had the bakeware, the dishes, the accessories no one ever uses, several tea pots, and odd and ends and serving pieces. All together (lids and everything) there was 135 pieces. THAT'S OBSCENE. Well, I decided with the way my house is going and want I want to do when we remodel our kitchen this year, the ivy wouldn't really work. So I bought some heavier, simpler, "prettier" dishes. :) I love them. They are khaki/beige, and square and heavier than Corelle (which is what I had) and there are fewer of them. So its nice. My mom has never had matching anything. So she bought my ivy ones from me so I could turn around and buy my new plates. She was so excited and i was excited for her. She's got so much now I am not sure she will find places for it all! But I was happy to see her so glad. So that brightened my weekend up for sure.

Well, I am off to bed. :) Nighty night!!

Oops...

2010-01-16T17:40:00.000-08:00

Lol...I forgot to mention yesterday was my first blogger birthday!! As of yesterday, I have officially been blogging for a year. Even though I have only have 3 followers, I am very happy I made it a year!! I am glad I did it. I thought about stopping a few times, but going back and reading the last year of blogs...there is so much i would have forgotten without it! So I reckon I will keep on going....tee hee....tonight I am at home by my lonesome. DErek went to a party without me (I didn't feel like going and I couldnt believe he actually went without me - that never happens and I am not crazy about that) and the kids are with nana tonight. So its just me and the Tob-meister. So I did what any 26 year old mother of 2 would do.......I cleaned. I am soooo dull. :)

bleck

2010-01-15T07:51:00.000-08:00

That is how I feel today....bleck.....I wanna go back home and curl up in my bed. and sleep. Lots and lots and lots of sleep. Sounds nice no?

Boo Day

2010-01-13T18:39:00.000-08:00

So today was boo...it was a long day and I was stressed out and it just wasn't great. Carson and Shanna went to the dentist yesterday for a cleaning and checkup...well, last Summer Carson was traumatized by a dentist. His teeth were literally shattering in the back of his mouth (not because he doesn't brush - he does! He is on a strict asthma regiman and does an inhaler every night. They warned me a side effect could be it weaken the enamel...they weren't kidding) and we had to have one pulled. He was terrified and wouldn't do the gas...it was infected and almost to the point it would suffocate him if it reached his throat...we had to pin him down and get it done. It was traumatic for him, heart wrenching for me and a headache for dad. Well, he did good yesterday but.....yes, there is a but.....he has FOUR severe cavities that need filled...2 baby teeth that need to be crowned...has to have some procedure with one of the crowns so the tooth isn't cold sensitive...plus he needs a root canal on a permanent tooth. Holy crow. Seriously. Shanna needs two fillings which irks me b/c she had PERFECT teeth last summer and I was so proud. But my poor Carson.....I dread it. We go for fillings Feb. 2. I will discuss the rest of Carson's "treatment" with him then. So not looking forwrd to it!!

Okay, so don't laugh...

2010-01-12T20:03:00.000-08:00

I realize how silly this is...but it made my whole day. When we got married, my dishes, my bake ware, EVERYTHING had to match. My entire kitchen was done in ivy. I loved it. I still love it, but the direction I am taking my house is more earthy, natural tones and the dishes and accessories ( I have no room for right now) just needed to be gone. I wanted heavier stoneware plates and bowls and I really didn't use all the ivy stuff. So my mom bought it from me and I used the money to replace my dishes and get a few mixing bowls and bakeware to replace what I am giving her. I am sooo excited. I love my new brownish/tannish dishes and my clear bakeware and mixing bowls. I am such a kitchen addict. And this also made me realize my pathetic little existence. lol. How sad is that I am totally ecstatic about dishes and bakeware?? Now, if Derek could get a job so I could put back a little bit to start on my new kitchen soon!! We had planned to start on it in the Spring so we could start remodeling my bathroom and bedroom in the Summer but since Derek is still unemployed, that plan is temporarily stalled. But I am still planning. I have designed the kitchen and I am pricing my cabinets and hunting for my two-tiered island....I sooooo can't wait!!

R&R

2010-01-10T13:13:00.000-08:00

My life has really been uneventful and I must say I am loving it this way. Derek has kept up his promise with regard to cleaning my house I worked hard on during the week of New Year's while I was off. So I haven't had to spend the weekend cleaning this weekend which I thoroughly enjoyed. I will do a little laundry later but for the most part, I can't complain.

I finally feel like my life has some order to it. We just got home from Grandma Shoptaw's and I am going to spend the afternoon in my chair, with my blanket, reading Jane Austen (for the millionth time - but this time I switched from Pride and Prejudice to Emma) on my e-reader and enjoying myself. Its such a beautiful sunshiney day but its like FREEZING so I can't enoy the day outside :( In the meantime, softball/baseball signups are coming up. I am ready for a new season. You know how addicted and dedicated I am to our ballpark. We are working really hard on it right now and have some GREAT improvements coming up. I could not be more thrilled.

Hope you all have as nice of a Sunday!!

My kids are gone...

2010-01-09T15:42:00.000-08:00

They have turned my kitchen table into a "remote desert strip complete with caves and mines"...and Carson is now a famous paleontologist and Shanna is a famous geolgist.

Carson is currently working on unearthing a triceritops....Shanna has unearthed rose quartz and amythest quartz and working on finding more....Its so awesome to watch their minds run wild with excitement and "adventure" :)

Love my gifts

2010-01-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

I totally have to brag for a bit because my mother in law bought me 3 end tables for my living room and I love them. I feel like I have a real living room now!! I am so excited! I got some vases at my brothers house for dirty santa and I bought some rocks and "dead twigs" and they look fab. :) Just had to brag a bit.

Christmas pics

2009-12-29T17:25:00.000-08:00

Here are some Christmas pics...I can't figure out how to make the pics go below the words dangit!! So there are no captions....sorry :(

Wiped out

2009-12-26T21:03:00.001-08:00

We had our last Christmas gathering tonight and I am exhausted! Tomorrow should be a nice relaxing day...but not happening. I am going to psych myself out to get everything all cleaned up nice like it was Christmas Eve. Before the chaos happened....well, before Santa appeared, and we had numerous items strewn about the living room and I started cooking for Christmas with my mom...my kitchen is such a disaster...and I hate cleaning the kitchen....wish me luck. I will hopefully finish early enough to download my pictures tomorrow :)

Luckily, if I don't finish completely tomorrow like I plan, this week is a short week so yippee!! I am off Wednesday, Thursday and Friday again this week for New Years. I am getting spoiled with the short weeks ;)

My best Christmas ever.

2009-12-25T19:54:00.001-08:00

I needed a holiday like today. When I think about the last 48 hours, I literally want to cry because it makes me so happy.

I am fortunate in that my office is only working Monday and Tuesday of this week and next week and I have so looked forward to it.

Christmas Eve we had so much rain that it shut alot of places around here down. It was ridiculous. My kids stayed with their aunt the night before so hubby and I were alone all day. We got the house cleaned up and ran a few errands.

That night the kids got home right at dark. We packed up and went to Wendy's and got drive thru and rented a movie from RedBox. We came home and watched our movie and tracked SAnta. The kids went to bed and of course Santa came by and left them exactly what they wanted. Playstation 2 for my son and baking stuff for my daughter. :0)

Today was so wonderful. We all got everything we wanted for Christmas and we spent today relaxing and having fun. Shanna and I spent most of the afternoon in the kitchen baking and cooking for dinner tomorrow with my mother. Those are memories I will take with me forever.

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Best. Friday. Ever.

2009-12-18T20:16:00.000-08:00

Not many people are blessed enough to have a boss like mine. Or coworkers. Today, instead of going to work, we met up at 8:00 a.m. and drove to Texarkana to do some shopping. All day. I got home at almost 10:00 p.m.!! I had an absolute blast. We ate breakfast on the way out, had lunch (which included the largest margaritas ever and neither my boss nor myself are much of a drinker so we had a pretty good buzz) and we laughed and talked and goofed off and shopped and had the best time. We are planning on doing it next year but it will be probably be somewhere else and we will likely stay the night. We will see. It will be like a girls time out. Loved it. It was very very much needed.

Oh, and in case you didn't get the memo...CHRISTMAS IS A WEEK AWAY!! WOO HOO!!

So this is Christmas...

2009-12-17T16:29:00.000-08:00

Christmas is almost here!! YAY!! I love this time of the year. The magic, the miracles, the happiness, the general feeling of the Season. God is good. Its just so important to me that my children understand its not about the presents, even though we do get into that, but more importantly about celebrating life. We are celebrating the most important birthday in our lives. The birth of Jesus Christ. We are celebrating the most miraculous things in our live and spending time with our families and that is the most important thing in the world to me. I have so many people I know suffering and I have seen miracles happen this holiday season to those that mean so much to me. So remember to remember THE REASON FOR THE SEASON. Merry Christmas all!!

Happiness.

2009-12-02T16:49:00.000-08:00

I came home today to a mostly clean home...and the sound of CCR blaring on the stereo and my husband and kids squealing and laughing and running around and Toby, who was groomed today and looking so fab and smelling wonderful, running all spastic everywhere.

The scene could not be more perfect. I am so thankful for my wonderful, happy family. We have our moments, but I wouldn't trade one of those moments for all the material things in the world.

Oh, and what makes today even more perfect? I got a cute new purse ;0)

Well, theres been alot...

2009-12-01T20:53:00.000-08:00

I know I have a lot of catching up to do. There has been so much going on.

I know I didn't do my list of thankfuls for Thanksgiving so I think I am going to spend my next couple of posts listing what I am thankful for.

For this post, I am going to focus on health. There is so many bad things going on around me with people in my life I truly care about that I have realized this year, I have so much to be thankful for regarding the health of my family.

My Grandmother, who is very very near and dear to my heart is in bad health. To the point that my mother left almost a month ago to take care of her. It has been very wierd with my mother gone, but I am glad she is there in California taking care of her. My Grams is one of my best friends and I don't think I could handle anything happening to her.

My cousin, Ashley, had a baby November 7th. When Carly was 10 days old she was rushed by ambulance and admitted into the hospital. They found a blood clot in the center of her brain. She had several teams of doctors taking care of her and after many many prayers and about 2 weeks (or more) in the hospital she is now finally home. They are hoping that the blood clot will dissolve on its own. She is not completely out of the woods and has some issues but hopefully will pull through all of them. This is Ashley and Jason's first child and she is so beautiful. Ashley and Jason are truly beautiful people, both inside and out, and I hate that they have experienced this. No mother or father should ever have to deal with the reality of possibly losing their child. I am a firm believer in that, but I am an even firmer believer that God has a reason for everything and all works out according to his plan. This is the season for miracles and rejoicing and I hope that their first Christmas with their daughter is a magical one and a happy one and the first of many many wonderful holidays with their new family. PLease remember this family in your prayers.

A good friend of mine, also named Ashley, has spent the last 11 days in the hospital with her husband. He had pneumonia, lungs full of fluid, a hole in his lung and other issues. They spent Thanksgiving in the hospital and it looks like their anniversary will be spent there as well. They have three small children, two of which are friends of my children. I hate that they have started the holidays there and I ask that you remember their family as well in your prayers. They are a beautiful family and truly special people who have had so much to deal with this year. I am positive and hopeful that they will be out of the hospital soon and Scotty will make a full and complete recovery.

Tonight, I spent about an hour and a half in the Emergency Room with my brother, sister and their baby girl, Braylee, who is eleven months old. Braylee has pneumonia and she was so extremely fussy. She did not feel good, was weezing and having trouble breathing. Jake and Deslee were so frustrated that they could not calm her down and you could tell they were both just so so exhausted. The doctors gave her a breathing treatment and an inhaler to take home. They also gave her some medicine to help her sleep so that Jake and Deslee could get some sleep as well. I was so happy to be there to be able to hold Braylee and tend to her so that Deslee and Jake could just take a break. You know how frustrated you tend to get when you can't fix your child and all they do is scream and cry and I was happy to be there to alievate some of the frustration. Braylee will be fine but for now the poor baby is miserable and her parents are in need of some rest. It still broke my heart to see my baby girl so fussy and I felt so bad for my brother and sister. I remember when my kids were babies and that overwhelming feeling that you were not doing something right because you could not fix it immediately and I hated seeing them experience that themselves.

I know that there is more than this, but for now, these are the main things that come to mind. For these reasons, I am so thankful that the most I have had to worry about is my daughter getting a persistent cough and runny nose. Nothing that a little cold n cough tylenol and mucinex couldn't fix. With Carson's chronic asthma, this time of year is usually pretty tough on us. Luckily, we have him on a strict and very effective asthma regimen that seems to be working extremely well.

With all the health issues I had from May to August, I have honestly never felt better. I am so happy that the surgery I had in August was so successful. If I had realized that was my problem sooner, I would have had it all done immediately.

Derek's neck doesn't seem to be bothering him as much lately either, and for that I am extremely grateful. I have been nervously awaiting the day when they come back and say that there is no longer any other option except surgery. I dread the day that decision is made and I pray that the good Lord keeps Derek out of the operating room for a little while longer.

I am so grateful and thankful for the health of my husband and children, especially when so many people around us are suffering. Please please please remember my grandmother, my cousin, my friend, and my brother's family in your prayers. I know they could each use prayers in the worst way right now.

I have learned so much this year about the power of prayer. I was blessed to see the power of prayer first hand when my dad passed away in February. His kids were around him and we all said our goodbyes. His sisters came in and said their goodbyes. His mother came in and said her goodbye and for as long as I live I will always remember the last words of her prayer. She asked the Lord to assure him that we were okay and we were ready. She asked him to take him so that he would no longer suffer. She said Amen. I walked out and grabbed a tissue and walked back in. As soon as I walked back in the room he took his last breath. It was literally as if the Lord said okay. In less than three minutes from when she asked the Lord to take away his pain, he did. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen.

So, again, please remember these wonderful and special people in your prayers and be thankful for the wonderful gifts that you have in your life. Even if you don't realize that you have them.

We all have so much to be thankful for that we all take for granted too often.

Thanksgiving Weekend

2009-11-28T15:07:00.000-08:00

I know and I am so sorry its been too long. But I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!! MIne was spectacular. With mom gone Thanksgiving dinner fell in my lap. I cooked the turkey, ham, dressing, sweet potatoe casserole, sweet rolls, baked potato dip, chocolate pie, and banana pudding. My sisters made the potatoes, green bean casserole, green bean wraps, cheese ball, reeses cake. We had so much food and it was soooo good. Delicious. I slept 1 1/2 hours the night before getting everything ready but it was so worth it.

Then of course, after dinner I slept about 3 hours and got up at like 3:30 in the morning for the best day of the year: BLACK FRIDAY!! I got some great deals and went shopping for like 15 hours. I got a new Christmas tree and I love it. I stayed up last night and decorated it and wrapped the presents I bought yesterday and got it all ready and put up!! I went to bed at 11:00 last night and I was so exhausted I could not stand up and my whole body was shaking. I literally slept till about 4:30 this afternoon. I got up at like 10:00 this morning and was back in bed at 11:30.

It was wonderful. Tomorrow my goal is to get my whole house cleaned up and caught up for my husband this week and then get ready for Christmas!!! :)

I hope you all wonderful holidays and enjoyed the long weekend.

new moon!!

2009-11-22T08:34:00.000-08:00

So New Moon came out Friday and I get to see it today for my birthday (which is tomorrow)!! Yay!!! So excited!

Its November!

2009-11-01T08:01:00.000-08:00

2009 is almost over!! I for one cannot be more happy about it. 2009 has not been a good year for me. My birthday is this month and my favorite holiday not to mention the BEST shopping day of the year!! woo hoo!! ;)

The kids had a blast lst night and when I get around to it, I will post a pic of my cute little Mario (from Super Mario Bros) and my cute little "fashion witch" ha ha ha ;)

We have tons of candy and I can't stay out of it. I love trick or treating. We weren't allowed to trick or treat as kids and I didn't even get my first costume until I was 13. That was when my mom finally let us go and by then I was really too old to get to into it. So now, I am ALL over it! :) I love the costumes (even though I don't dress up) and I love to go door to door with my kids and watch them get all excited! I love to go through the candy later and sort it all out. Its so much fun!!

Not to mention I really enjoyed the extra hour of sleep this morning! Have a great Sunday all!

**edited: I edited this to add my picture :) **

So long October....sniff sniff..

2009-10-30T10:56:00.000-07:00

Although Thanksgiving is my all time FAVE holiday, followed closely by Christmas, October is hands down my FAVORITE month of the year. The weather is always nice, the fall atmosphere starts in, I can start wearing jackets, sweatshirts and stuff...not to mention my anniversary is in October. I just love this month. So I am sad to see it go.

This past Tuesday I celebrated my 8th wedding anniversary (YAY!). I love my husband with everything I have. But on some things we are polar opposites. See, my husband HATES holidays. He thinks of them as 'just another day'. Its stupid to celebrate things. I don't know why he is like that, but he is. Well, for the first time EVER I got an anniversary present. My hunny bought me a 10 month old male yorkie. I was estatic. He is absolutely precious and its someone else I can set my maternal instincts into since I feel like I have no more "babies". His name is Toby and I love him dearly.

I am so excited! I feel like my family is finally and perfectly complete!! :) oh, and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! I hope you have fun and be safe trick or treating!!

spectacular craptastic weekend

2009-10-26T10:49:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, it was WONDERFULLYcraptastic!! Well, we had issues with our septic pump, and that made for good times let me tell ya.

Then, the opportunity I spoke about a few months ago didn't pan out and it went to someone else over the weekend which broke my heart.

But, I took the kids to the school's halloween carnival and they looked adorable and had a good time. then hubby bought my FAVORITE cheap pizza for dinner last night and rented a movie I had been DYING to see so I had a somewhat enjoyable Sunday evening really.

So, here's hoping to a BETTER WEEK!! Although, for Monday's this isn't really topping my charts in terms of good days...so here's hoping yours is going much better than mine! ha ha ha!!

addicted to monopoly...

2009-10-23T07:23:00.000-07:00

Hi. My name is courtney, and I'm a monopolyholic. I can't quit drinking my beverages from McDonald's so I can get a game piece. not because I like to hang on to all those little stickers...but I am ridiculously addicted to the online game. SERIOUSLY. I have already won 50 mycokerewards points. But I don't do mycokerewards so I sent them to my mother who is seriously addicted to that. I think that made her day! ha ha ha....so I just wanted to get that out there...I am addicted.

Lovin Every Minute of It

2009-10-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

Its getting to be that time. I love holidays. This is my fave time of the year. It starts with Halloween and just keeps on rolling into the new year!! We usually spend Thanksgiving with my aunt, but since my cousin is having her first baby in Utah she is going to be with her. Not that I blame her. If I could, I would probably try to tag along! ha ha ha!! So, its Thanksgiving with my siblings and mom. And I get to cook alot for Thanksgiving. Which I don't usually do, but I am this year!! :) So excited about that too. I usually cook the majority of Christmas Dinner, but Thanksgiving food is different so I am excited about it. I sat down with my sister in law to be the other night and created our menu and appointed jobs to folks and that sort of thing... :) Yay!! I will post our menu a little closer to time. I can't wait!!

Weekend Perfection

2009-10-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

I had a perfectly lovely weekend. I didn't do a darn thing. It was wonderful. I cleaned all day saturday and sunday. I managed to get my room cleaned out and am soooo close to having my desk completely purged and back in order which is so awesome. My goal is to be MUCH more organized than I am. I am working on that. :) Will let you know my progress. ha ha ha.

Carson fell off a slide at school Friday. He fell about 5 1/2 feet at a run and NO ONE CALLED ME. I was so mad. I realize he didn't tell his teacher he fell off a slide and landed on his head then back when he got back to class, BUT the recess teacher's should have asked a few more questions when he told them he fell and hurt his back. That really upset me. I took him to the ER Friday when he got off the bus and found out what happened. He was complaining of back pain, he couldn't bend over and it hurt to lift his arms. So I wanted to be safe. He didn't hurt any of his bones, no fractures or anything, but he does have bruising of his muscles. So he's pretty sore. Kind of the equivelant of a car accident for him really. I felt bad for him. So he's been laying low. Since I am caught up at the house with everything and there isn't much going on, I think I may ask one of his friends to come spend the night with him Friday. That will make him happy. He's been begging for that to happen and it hasn't yet, but sister has been spending the night places and having friends come over so I need to "level the board" really. ;)

Well, I hope my Monday is as productive as my weekend was. Happy Monday to ya'll!!!

Notice to the Weatherman

2009-10-14T08:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. Weatherman:

I love rain. Honestly, I do. I love to be in the bed listening to the rain POUR down onto my roof. Nothing is more relaxing and I have slept wonderful with the pounding rain each night. I love cold, rainy weekends once in awhile to give me an excuse to never leave my house, fix my hair, put on makeup and lounge in jammies all weekend. But, this excessive rain which has gone on for almost 2 weeks now is messing with my fall. I don't get to enjoy perfect cool/warm breezes, fresh crisp air in the mornings, changing and falling leaves...instead I am running to keep dry, and avoiding the ever growing mud puddles which are now more like mud ponds, and I am starting to feel slightly soggy...so please, for at least a little while, think maybe we can postpone any further rain storms and simply bring out the sun? I sure do miss it. :)

Thanks so much.

Yours truly,

6 going on 16....

2009-10-08T07:32:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant I read EVERYTHING. I mean everything. I had a plan. I was going to read everything available to me on how to parent and I would have this thing down before they ever arrived right? I mean I have always been a mother hen. Its second nature to me so I thought "okay, this will be a piece of cake" at least while they were small. Well, I got a BIG FAT 'F' FOR THAT!!

So, my princess. My shining, happy, fearless, cautionless, stubborn headed, independent 6 year old light of my life is schooling me in the department of parenting. So, she's 6 and has been a professional shopper since 3. No lie. She was THREE when we were in Target, she saw a dress and looked up at me and said "I love that. I want that dress but only if they have it in orange". At that point, I didn't even realize she knew what shade orange really was!!

So, my darling princess, who by the way since the day she was born has absolutely loved dresses (the frillier the better for her), has denounced the dress today. I was informed a few weeks back that she hated blue jeans and long sleeve shirts and tennis shoes. Now, she hates dresses and boots. So from the information I am given, she will be wearing tshirts, shorts and flip flops through winter.

I thought I would not have to go through this until she became a teenager. Apparently, I was sooooooo wrong.

Woo Pig Sooieee

2009-10-05T11:36:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure I spelled Sooiee wrong..but its okay...cause Hogs whipped Texas A&M this weekend!! Great game!!! Yehaw Arkansas! :) I am just now getting into football and seeing how I am a diehard Arkansan, it seems only natural that I should be a hogs fan...and I was mighty proud to be one this weekend.

Felt the Fall in the Air!!

2009-10-02T07:38:00.000-07:00

WOW!! I stepped out on my front porch this morning and took a deep breath of fresh air. It was cold, crisp and felt perfectly wonderful!! I can imagine all the deer hunters this morning were thrilled with the weather. The only thing that would have made it more perfect was if I could have stayed home and drank a huge mug of warm tea and enjoyed the morning!! :)

REST IN PEACE

2009-09-29T07:22:00.001-07:00

I received the saddest news yesterday. My highschool softball coach passed away. He was such a good man and an awesome coach. I loved his civics class as well. He has been sick for some time and my thoughts and prayers have been with his family.

It is such a sad loss. I have nothing but the fondest memories of that man. He was an amazing coach. His attitude was always, I don't care if you win or lose, but if you lose, you better go down fighting. As long as you gave 100% he was okay. I try to have that attitude with my girls. Sometimes I don't, but for the most part, I try. ;)

R.I.P. Coach Mike Kitchens. You will forever be missed and for me personally, softball would never have been same without you.

Just call me Dr.Mom / Mama Bear

2009-09-23T07:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I am THAT mom. I am the mom that will not tolerate someone telling me how to raise my children. I am the mom that cries when her kids potty train because that is one less thing they need me for. I am the mom that will not think twice about raising nine kinds of hell at the doctor's office for making my child suffer unnecessarily. I am not proud of that really, but at the same time I kinda am. It is my job to make sure my children are taken care of. No matter what. I am a believer that at this stage in their lives, it is okay for them to believe in fairy tales and think Harry Potter is real and Cinderella is too (which they both know they aren't, but you get the idea). Well, the momma bear came out in me last week.

My son has asthma. It only causes problems in the fall and winter months when it is cooler outside at night. Its usually about 3:00 a.m. when he wakes up unable to breathe. He's been like this his entire life. He requires three medications during the fall/winter. Every year I take him to the doctor in the fall and get the refills for his medications. Never a problem. Well, this year, we are at a new doctors office for my children. I send my father in law with the list of his medications in an effort to make it easier for my doctor to know what we are asking for. Well, my husband arrives and the doctor has him call me and ask "how many mg is the singulair"...how do I know that? Just look in the chart. So he gets the RX's and takes them to the pharmacy. WEll, since Derek lost his job and we lost our insurance the kids are now on ARKids insurance, which is the state insurance for low income families that don't have insurance otherwise available to them. So, I go to the medicines and am told that ARKids won't cover them and its $360.00 for all three for one month. SERIOUSLY!?!?! These aren't narcotics, its asthma medication. Why would they not be covered? I about had a panic attack.

So I call ARKids first thing the next morning...on hold for over 30 minutes....finally get a human, and am told that all three are covered but the doctors have to get prior approval before ARKids will pay for them. So I immediately call the doctors office. They require a form from the pharmacy first. So I call my pharmacy. They are very kind and said they would take care of that first thing. So, I go on about my chaotic day at the office. About 4:45 p.m. it dawns on me that I never followed up. So I call the pharmacy and have them run the prescriptions for me. I'm told ARKids does not cover those prescriptions. So I ask if they have faxed the paperwork to my doctor. They said that they had. I called my doctors office, who of course said they were still waiting on the pharmacy. Well, I got VERY huffy with the doctors office. And I informed them that I would be heading to the pharmacy immediately to make sure that the fax was sent. They call me again at 5 till 5:00 and say that can't even find my son in their computers!! I went off again, they also said they still had not received anything from the pharmacy. I am fuming at this point.

Well, I get to the pharmacy forty-five minutes later (more than AN HOUR after the State closes - so no authorizations can be obtained) and the pharmacy miraculously has received the authorization and everything is taken care of. interesting huh? I still have half a mind to CHEW some doctors office out!!! gggggrrrrrrr.............

I had a blast this weekend

2009-09-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

This weekend was awesome. I don't know why, but I loved it. It was perfect. Despite the constant cloud cover, sometimes drizzle and all that of course.

First, Friday I got my new phone!! Love it!! Its a Samsung Rogue and I am in love with it. Although I loved my old phone and was pretty bummed it was shutting down on me, I am very happy with its replacement :)

Saturday, our girls had their first fall ball games. We played three games. Our head coach was out so it was me, the other assistant coach and a parent. and we only six girls for the first game and seven for the last two. But guess what, our girls played their hearts out. I could not have been more happy. These girls played with everything they had and it was amazing to witness. We won the first two games and lost the third. The two teams we beat had nearly double the girls and they were teams that beat us in the Spring which made these victories much sweeter. I am pumped to continue watching these girls grow. What makes this team even better is that not only do the girls that I had show up Saturday absolutely love softball, but their parents encourage it and support it. These girls are only going to get better and they showed every one out there Saturday that even with the odds stacked wwwwaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy against them, they are still a force to be reckoned with. Its pretty awesome to be a part of that.

Yesterday, wasn't a lot going on. Just pretty lazy day. I had a board of directors meeting at the ball park. I really enjoy being involved there and I am excited for the things that we have coming up. Other than that, me and the hubs simply lounged around and did nothing. Which I always enjoy :)

My internet is D.O.W.N.

2009-09-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

Girls, the technology in my life is driving me BATTY. completely insane. First, my cell phone is basically shot. No good. and so off to the phone store I go Saturday (in between picking my daughter up from the ballpark and working on the wedding) to get a new one. Since Alltell is now Verizon, everyone is basically up for an early upgrade so they can "get you in a verizon phone" - sounds like a car salesman huh? So, I go in. I ask up front to make sure nothing is changed. My alltel plan is still good and I can charge the phone to my next bill. Great. So all the phones are like $200.00 with some sort of rebate. I think the cheapest was $150.00. Well, the one I FELL IN LOVE WITH was the Samsung Rouge. I am a texter. I text ALOT. and I want a touch screen I think so I love this phone. And I want it soooooooooo badly. I spent an hour in the store and I fell so deeply in love with the phone. I was so excited. Then I get up there and they tell me all of the sudden I can't charge it. That PISSED me off. My phone was down again and I am in the middle of wedding planning and they told me I could then told me I couldn't. So I am patiently saving up the money I need to get the phone and then its on. Since I don't usually carry $200 in extra cash and even though I desperately need a new phone, I can't justify pulling it from any savings or anything. Mine works when it wants to...... :)

Then for the last TWO days my internet at home has not worked. Talk about LIVID. I have things to do. Farms to plow on facebook, blogs to read, email to check, tv shows to watch (don't get me started on the tv issue at my house) and I HAVE TO HAVE MY INTERNET.

So, for now, I have no connections with the outside world and I feel so lost.....

Wedding #3

2009-09-12T17:43:00.000-07:00

I love doing weddings. I have been bombarded by "you need to pursue this" "you should be charging for this" and so forth lately. I love doing weddings. Of course, all the weddings I have done have been family and a friend. Like I would charge them for that! Ha!!

I will post pics later (I know I constantly promise that, but I will make good) of the wedding I am doing this weekend. I am currently taking a break from doing the arch. Its extremely hard. I thought this would be easy cause there wasn't alot of flowers, etc...but I was wrong. Very hard.

And I have exactly 24 hours till the wedding and I have got TONS to do.......so I better get busy.

Just wanted to let you know I wasn't ignoring the blogger world, just been super busy.

I got it!! yay!!

2009-09-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I got my picture!! It is so beautiful and I am so excited. My camera is dead so I will have to take a pic of it later. I am going to clean clean clean today and organize tomorrow so I will likely just take pics of my house and post those.

Hubby brought my fall/Halloween/Thanksgiving box down from storage last night. I am so excited. I love to decorate for this time of year. Its so much fun!

Yesterday afternoon, Derek just had to go to Academy. We are wanting to get our light switches and outlet covers for the living room and kitchen (I want Mossy Oak covers - well actually Real Tree Hardwood Green but they are all the same.) So off we went. In my search for the outlet covers, I found something spectacular!! I found a REAL TREE CUTTING BOARD! It is absolutely darlin. So I bought it, took to my mommy, she paid me back and she is holding it till my birthday. I don't know if can stand to wait that long though! My birthday is in late November. Mom and I have a pretty cool relationship. I dont like for her to spend alot of money on me for holidays cause I know she's not got an endless supply of pictures of dead presidents so I prefer that she use her money elsewhere, so if I find something I have to have, I can call her and tell her and that is what she will get. But since neither of us go to Academy very often, I went ahead and just bought it and took it to her. I know it was the easiest birthday shopping ever for her! ha ha ha ... but I can't wait!!

Oh, and another totally awesome find at Academy that my hubby bought me....some camoflauge croc flip flops. They are so comfy and I love them. So that was my day of being spoiled :) Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!!

OMG SO EXCITED!!!

2009-09-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, so if you haven't figured it out by reading my blog...there are two things (among a million others) that I absolutely LOVE. Bargains and trees. Today, my friends, two of my fave things combine!

A few weeks ago I found the most beautiful picture at Kirklands. It has a pond, and an old plank bridge out onto the water and its surrounded by trees. Its like a brown and white pic and I FELL IN LOVE. I had been emailed a coupon for $5 for Kirklands and I got all excited. The picture was normally $100.00. however it was marked down to $59.99 and I had a coupon!! So I made plans that Friday to go school shopping for the kids clothes and then to Kirklands to get my picture. Then Derek called me at 2:00 p.m. that Friday and told me he had just been layed off. When I realized I couldn't get my picture, I almost cried. I was so upset. I was so excited to get my picture. So, I have dreamed about my picture and been so bummed.

Well, as you know, Derek is back at work! YaY!! Monday, I went to play bunko with my mother in law. She ended up winning a nightlight from Kirklands that she didn't want. So she gave it to me. It was purple and matched NOTHING in my house so I took it back and got store credit. $8. Then, yesterday, I was emailed a coupon for $10 for Kirklands. So I made Derek take me back to Kirkland's to see if they had my picture still on sale....THEY DO!! YAY!!!! So, I get my $100 picture for roughly $40 today if he ever makes it back!! I have been so excited I can't stand it!!

My daughter has a friend staying the night tonight so I have to wait on him to get home so I can go. I can't wait!!!! I will take a pic of my picture later and post it to show the wonderfulness of my painting!! :)

Happy Friday!!!

DARK + SILENCE + COOL AIR = PERFECTION.

2009-09-02T20:23:00.000-07:00

The weather in Arkansas this week has been so fabulous. I just want to jump on a fourwheeler and ride off. Its so cool and crisp and clear, the suns not been out too much and its just got that fall feel to it. Last night I was sitting on my porch and it was chilly out and I just loved it. It doesn't get better than that. It made me remember some times in high school. My mom had an early 90's model caravan and when I needed to chill out and relax and sort of refocus and clear my head, I would make a mug of hot spearmint tea, climb up onto the top of mom's van (obviously I was tiny and didn't break anything by doing this) and would sip my tea and breathe the cool night air and then when I finished my tea, I would lay on the top of the van and stare at the stars. I would sit out there for hours. Once or twice I fell asleep out there and the only reason I woke up was because Mom would come out side and hollar my name and it would wake me up. :) I apparently got too relaxed some days. I miss those times. I loved it. She thought I was a nut, hell, everyone that knew I did that thought I was a nut, but it was so peaceful. I just remember thinking that how could anyone look at that sky and not believe in God? Its just not possible. That kind of beauty just doesn't create itself. And it never looked exactly the same night after night. Some stars were brighter, some dimmer, some would shimmer one night and not the next and it just was calming. Some days, when it was a really rough day, I would go outside and talk to my (biological) dad. Being outside at night and staring at the sky would just make it seem that he was so much closer. I usually felt better after I did. Now, I have lost so many people that I love that its hard to decide who to talk to, so instead I just remember and pray. Since I don't have mom's big ole van, I lay outside on my picnic table and stare at the stars. I don't have as much sky to look at because I am surrounded by trees instead of a big open field like at our old house, but its still the same. and just as relaxing. Oh, and I traded my tried and true spearmint tea for something better. Vanilla Caramel. Its so yummy and just wonderful. I love it the most at Christmas time. Its like the Christmas cookie scented candles and when you wrap in a warm blanket and sit in a solid dark house with nothing but the twinkling white lights of my christmas tree...its just perfect. :) I think I have just convinced myself to go outside and enjoy the cool air for a bit before heading to the bed. Sounds just perfect right about now. Nighty night!!

2009-09-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

Its September!! Almost the best time of year! My fave month is October. I love it!!! :) I can't wait for the holidays to start!!! It puts me in the best mood. and I love to decorate! Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas and then New Years and then Valentines and then Easter and then you get a break!! :)

I have big plans for the holiday weekend - I am going to organize my house! I dread it but it desperately needs to be done. So, whats everyone elses plans for the long holiday weekend?

one week with no internet...TORTURE

2009-08-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I have had no internet for a week and its been torture!!! So much has gone on and I don't know if I will remember to blog it all!!

First, and most excitingly.....DEREK GOT A JOB!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! It is in a new field and it will give him the opportunity to have an actual career and not work in a factory/plant setting his whole life. I am so proud of him getting this opportunity and, even though he won't admit it, I know he is secretly excited! :) He has normal hours again, 7 - 4ish and off on weekends. Its laying networking and fiber optic cables and stuff like that I think. Its a different job site every day so he's not in the same spot all the time which is SOOO Derek.

My recovery is going well. I was pretty sore through Monday and back at work by Tuesday. The pain pills were a wonderful help and my husband was perfection through it all. I didn't get up and move much and when I did he was right there to pick me and carry me around and wait on me hand and foot. AND he didnt COMPLAIN AT ALL. Such a sweet hubby :)

Now, my kiddos are off to Aunt Alli's tonight and to the theme park tomorrow so tonight hubby and I can go out to dinner and then off to a friends house to plan there wedding in two weeks! Fun times a comin!!

****special note****To any one reading this, keep my friend Ashley Jo in your prayers. She is pregnant with baby no. 4 and there are some serious complications and she may be losing her baby. She is such a wonderful mother and this has been so hard on her emotionally. She should know today and my heart and prayers have been with her all day. Love you AJ and I have faith it will turn out okay.

Best. Sleep. Ever.

2009-08-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

The best sleep I have ever had has been over the last couple of days. There is nothing better than a Darvocet induced coma. I actually feel like I got sleep when I wake up. Of course, my middle section is usually in SEVERE pain when I wake up, but I do feel like I actually slept. Which is a first. and I love it. I am going to miss my good sleep when this is all over. Because lets face it...its not possible to get that kind of good sleep without help!! :)

I survived

2009-08-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

I had my surgery yesterday. I feel as though I have been backed over by a truck a few thousand times. My whole body is stiff and I am tired and miserable. I must say that this whole experience has made me realize how wonderful my family is. Derek may appear to to be an ass to most people, but he is such a wonderful person! He has taken such wonderful care of me. He has helped me tremendously walking every where, waiting on me hand and foot, taking me to the bathroom and fixing my food and helping me up and down and laying down and everything. I love him to pieces and this is the side of him I wish more people could see :).

Apparently, it was a great thing that I had my gallbladder removed now. Apparently even my doctor was shocked at how bad of shape it was in. I had over 3o gall stones. No wonder I have been so ill and in pain. I am ready for the recovery to be over so that I can feel better!! Well, the pain meds are starting to kick back in so its naptime for me! :)

Big Day

2009-08-19T19:46:00.000-07:00

So, I am freaking out right about now...my surgery is in the morning so wish me luck. I am looking forward to a "good sleep" I am in much much need of that!! :) that is the silver lining I have created for myself.

I had dinner tonight at Olive Garden with my siblings. I love my family. I have so much fun with all of my siblings. We laugh and have a great time. My oldest sister and her husband were separated for several months. THey almost got divorced but called it off and got back together. I love my brother in law and was very happy they worked things out. They have three children together so that is awesome. Now they have decided in an effort to turn over a new leaf and start fresh they are going to be moving back to Wisconsin were his family lives. It breaks my heart to see them and their kids go but I know that it is the best thing for them at this point in their lives.

And the gruesome twosome went back to school today!! They enjoyed it. I didn't get to talk to them about it much because I went to dinner with the family but they were giggling and laughing when I got home and according to my daughter first grade is super fun and fantastic! ha ha ha...she's such a nut. I still can't believe I am even old enough to have a second grader. Doesn't really seem possible!! ;) Time flies when your not looking!

Lots Goin On

2009-08-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I have my surgery Thursday to have my gall bladder removed. The kids start school on Wednesday. So I am going to be out of it most of the weekend.

And everyone around me has good news!! I feel kinda like a downer cause I don't have happy news!! A friend of mine is getting married (and I get to do it!! yay!!) and another is having another baby! I am excited for her! It was unexpected and I am sure she has ALOT of "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING" coming at her but I can't imagine any other couple that could handle having a baby no 4! like the two of them! Very exciting stuff!!

Well, I am off to bed, gotta be at the hospital at 7:30 for pre registration!!

I. HEART. LIFETIME.

2009-08-16T15:37:00.001-07:00

Just so there is no confusion. I love LMN. Love It. LOVE IT.
It is wonderful.

I cannot get enough.

It is a good thing that I do not have it at my house, because I would never leave. I would constantly be watching.

Me + Lifetime Movie Network = L.O.V.E.

:) Happy Sunday!!

Whats crackalackin?

2009-08-05T18:41:00.001-07:00

well, I know I've been gone...I just haven't had much to write about. The kids are gearing up for school and are so excited. We started practice back for fall softball - SO EXCITED!! The girls are doing awesome and we have a new girl which I am stoked about.

On the bad news side...Derek was laid off. I am so not happy about it but I have faith that we will be okay. Derek is having a hard time adjusting, but he will get there. :)

Well, until next time!!

Is it Sunday yet?

2009-07-21T17:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I can't wait for Sunday. I am soooo lonely. Most parents would love a week without their kids. I do. But I can't handle three. I am soooooooooo missing my babies. They have been at the lake for about a week and a half now and they will be home Sunday. Two weeks prior to going they were at St. Louis for a week. So, I feel like someone took my kids away from me for being a bad parent! I hate it. I miss the sound of the screaming, arguing, laughing, giggles, stomps, toys, movies, music, shouting and the general chaos that comes along with my gruesome twosome!! so Sunday cannot come fast enough to my house!!

I need a vacation...from my vacation!

2009-07-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, so basically my whole week off has been devoted to my home. We didn't do much in terms of getting to do fun stuff as a family like I had hoped. But my home is almost finished for now. So excited!! Carson's room is complete. The bathroom is lacking the trim work and the hall is 95% done on the floors and needs trim work. AFter that, its just Shanna's floors, the living room floors, painting the 5% of the living room walls that are not done, the trim work in the living room and kitchen and we are done! for at least the next 3-4 months. Then we are going to attempt starting the master bathroom, which will then lead into the master bedroom. There is not too much to be done there - So hopefully that won't take too much. I want to do my kitchen next Spring so hopefully my schedule works and the financing will be available! ;) Here's hoping!

I got back to work on Monday. Boo. I so wish I could stay at home more. LIke work part time somewhere and spend more time in the summer home with my kids. That would be spectacular but it is not in the cards for me. :(

I have had two gallbladder attacks this weekend. Painful. The nausea is coming back almost worse than the last time, however, since I was off this week - I cant really go in for surgery in the next week or two and be off another half a week. That would really be bad - so my plan is to hopefully make it to the fall when my boss will be out another week and try to do it around then so I don't have to worry about her being at the office trying to fend for herself. That will take some stress off of me.

Well, that's all for now I guess. Just wanted to update the progress of my house! I am so excited that it is almost whole again.

WHEW...What a day!

2009-07-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, we are on day two of my vacation and I am worn out. I don't feel relaxed at all!! Its been go go go go go go since I got off!! :) Yesterday we picked up the floors for the house (YAY!! F.I.N.A.L.L.Y. ) and then we purchased the vanity and the sink for the kids bathroom. I am so excited. We are finally almost through. The only thing left to purchase it the crown molding and final baseboards. They should begin laying the floors tomorrow. We also emptied one of the two storage buildings so that is one less bill each month which is a good thing. Now to just get rid of about three more.

We had Shanna's birthday. I took her with me to the salon and we had our hair cut and I had my usual coloring and eye brow wax. After that she turned into diva prima donna. She ruled the world on her birthday! ha ha ha....she got an abundance of clothes which she loved and a hoola hoop that we can't get her out of! She also got her cook book and she is estatic. She is no longer a baby girl and she loves to be in the kitchen with me so I guess its about time I start teaching her the fundamentals.

Finally, while sister and I were at the salon, daddy calls me and he and Carson adopted the newest member of our family. He is a 5 month old lab/husky mix. He is white with a khaki spot around his eye and one or two khaki spots on his back. He is very excited and fun and large. The kids love him. Derek's even doting on him more than any other dog we have owned. I am very excited that we got him. We named him Gage and of course the "posse" (referring to the coven of cats that we have - that are mean btw...Mia Belle, Tinkerbell, Shadow and Salem) were not to thrilled. They know if they hurt them we will get em so they try to leave him alone, but the fact that we made his home close to the front porch (which they consider their turf) did not excite them by any means. ;)

So, our lil farm just got a little bigger!! I have always loved huge families...

To My Sunshine...

2009-07-06T19:17:00.001-07:00

I love my son. He is my universe. But my daughter, she is the sun that lights up my world. And today, July 7th, my daughter is 6. She will be in 1st grade next year. And she has decided that she is no longer a cute little baby girl, but a mature independent BIG GIRL. No more character baby stuff for her. Just cute prints and colors. She is a big girl now, and mommy is falling a part like a 2 year old. My daughter has been attached to my hip since birth. She is MY baby girl. I could not have been more upset during my pregnancy with her. I didn't want a second baby and I was LIVID that my birth control wasn't working and I wasn't aware until it was too late.
I wasn't mad at her, just the situation. I knew she would be head strong since she tried to come a month early and turned her head and got stuck when they stopped my labor. She refused to budge. I wouldn' let her come when she wanted then BY GOLLY SHE WASN'T COMING WHEN I WANTED HER TO! :) I was in the hospital 5 times before I finally had her and we had to force her out. The experience was a night mare but as soon as I heard her tiny sweet cry, I realized that as much as I loved my son and I loved being a mother, my life would never be the same. She brought Derek to his knees with one look. She still does. Carson is my sweet, affection, grounded, brilliant, above average dreamer. I love to listen to him rationalize thing and learn knew things and I love for him to teach me. Shanna on the other hand, doesn't dream. She does. and she is fearless. She will take whatever comes at her full on and not think twice about it. Just does it. and she doesn't meet a stranger. She's so full of spark and life. She went to St. Louis and my mother in law took her to a museum or mall with a trampoline that had bungee cords that you could jump and do flips. This 5 year old (almost 6) gets up there and is jumping two stories high and doing back flips and front flips and having the time of her life. It must have been a good show b/c from what I hear people were in so much shock that she had people stopping and watching all over the place. There was apparently a LOOOONNNNGGG line of people watching this brave fearless one! ha ha ha

She is so full of love and compassion and Icould not imagine my life without my frilly princess who would wear her frilly dresses to ball practice if I let her. She gives 110% in everything she does and I love her endlessly. Happy Birthday to my Shanna Bug. and thank you Lord for blessing me with her. Thank you.

MILK DUD CRISIS!!!

2009-07-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

okay, so you CAN'T go to the movies without the best combo ever...buttery popcorn and milk duds. Its just WRONG. Well, I am too cheap to spend $3 on a box of candy so I buy it at Walgreens and sneak it in. BUT Walgreens is completely out of milkduds. Which is weird. So I cave and decide I am going to buy it at the theatre....THEY ARE OUT TOO!!! WHAT!?!?

Not right...its a conspiracy I say! :) But nevertheless, I had to forgo the choclately carmelly goodness and settle for plain m&ms...while I watched Ice Age 3 in 3D with the kiddos and hubby today to kick start our week off. It was cute and we all enjoyed it! Even without my beloved milk duds. :(

Happy 4th of July

2009-07-04T07:20:00.001-07:00

Happy 4th of July!!! I can't wait to cook out with the family and celebrate freedom!! Nothing sounds better than some grilled chicken, mac n cheese, maybe some pasta salad, and fresh fruit!! oh, and good ole home made lemonade!! YUM YUM!!

I hope you all enjoy your celebrations today!! Dont forget to thank a soldier!

NEW LOVE

2009-06-30T18:39:00.000-07:00

WEll, I have found a new love. I absolutley love to have my nails painted. I love it. I am I die hard O.P.I. nail color fan. Love it. BBBBUUTTTT....as I was wondering the beauty section of my local WalGreens...I came across a cute lil display of Sally Hansen's Hard as Nails Xtreme Wear in a bunch of cute summer colors. I absolutely fell in love with "Gunmetal". Its a dark gray and I love it. I'll post a pic later of my color on my nails. I got a cute pink glitter and an even cuter light sea green color. WONDERFUL. Just thought I would share ;)

PRODUCT REVIEW: MASCARA

2009-06-25T16:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, so like I have said before, when I fall in love with something, I shove it down everyone's throats :0) so, here's my latest LOVE:

L'Oreal Extra Volume Collagen Mascara. Wonderful....it makes my lashes thick and beautiful and I love it. Unconditonally :)

The only other mascara in the world I have ever found that I loved as much as this was the fat yellow tube of Maybelline Mascara, sadly that relationship did not last as I am allergic to Maybelline mascara and it burned my eyes :( But nonetheless, this mascara has stolen my heart ;)

Hollywood Sadness

2009-06-25T16:17:00.000-07:00

I hate hearing about death. It makes me so sad. And this week, that seems to be all we are surrounded by. It is so sad to think that some of the people I loved when I was younger or associated with things I loved when I was younger are gone. I used to LOVE Star Search. I watched it religiously. It was awesome!! And come one - you all know you used to GET DOWN to some old school Michael Jackson. And can any of you honestly say that you didn't want to grow up to look as beautiful as Farrah Fawcett? I mean come on...ITS FARRAH FREAKIN FAWCETT! Its just so sad in Hollywood right now.

R.I.P. Ed McMahon
R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett
R.I.P. Michael Jackson

R.I.P.

Movie Review THE PROPOSAL

2009-06-23T17:09:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I watched the proposal the other night (from my laptop, so wonderful) - and I LOVED IT. I am so into SAndra Bullock - she's hilarious and even though I am not a huge fan of Ryan Reynolds - he did awesome in this movie!! I would watch this over and over and over. So cute, sweet, witty and funny. I would definitely recommend this to anyone in the mood for a good date movie or girls night out!

Watch and let me know what you think!

Dentist Appointments

2009-06-22T18:20:00.000-07:00

I took my kids to their dentist appointment this morning. Carson wouldn't have none of it, they got to see his mouth for about five seconds - just long enough to say he had severe cavaties that were causing his teeth to shatter. He had another tooth COMPLETELY gone on the other side. I was so mortified - I felt like the worst mother in the world whose child's teeth were just falling out!! Since Carson wouldn't let them take xrays or anything he has to see a specialty pediatric dentist in the morning to save the teeth. Well, when Ms. Shanna bug come in, I was terrified...she jumped up in the chair and opened her mouth wide and let him do whatever necessary. Her teeth, however, were perfect. Not a cavity one, nothing. Text book perfect. Bu they use the same toothpaste and brush their teeth at the same time. So why does one kid have horrible teeth and the other have perfect? It doesn't make sense.

So, I get to take Mr. Man to the other dentist and have him sedated so they can work on his teeth. Poor baby.

My poor hunnies / Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T18:11:00.000-07:00

They get to go to the dentist tomorrow. I am a bad mom. I have never taken them to the dentist. Shanna went when she was one to have her teeth fixed from her allergy...but since, never. Our insurance situation got screwed up when the layoff happened and I switched jobs and we just never got the chance to do it...and then time marches on...and its just one of those things that I overlooked. I know I know I know. Horrible. Well, we are going tomorrow and poor Carson couldn't be more ready.

His back molar (thank the Lord its a baby tooth) is broke in half. We are not sure how it happened, but it happened Thursday at Magic Springs so we have to get that looked at. Shanna's not so looking forward to it though...

Today we had a wonderful day with Derek. It was just a nice afternoon watching Andy Griffith reruns - his absolute favorite. It was nice. I went to the cemetary and visited with both my real dad and my stepdad. It was sad, but I left roses - and said my hello. Well, to my stepdad anyway, I won't go into the story about the visit with my real dad.

well, I hope you all enjoy father's day with all those father's in your lives!

proof of marriage?

2009-06-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is totally retarded in my opinion...hubby's work wanted proof of eligibility for insurance purposes. Totally get that - they needed proof that Derek was the father of my children and that I was his spouse and therefore eligible to be on his insurance plan. So I send him to work with birth certificates and our marriage license.

Then I get a letter in the mail a day or two ago...requesting proof that we were still married. WTF? How do you get proof that your still married? That is the goofiest thing I have ever heard of! SO I sent him to work to ask...they want a copy of my drivers license. How does that prove that we are still married...We could have divorced last year and my drivers license would still have my name as Shoptaw and my address the same!! THat is retarded!!

Okay, I thought I would share the retardness with you all!!

Super Busy Weekend

2009-06-15T06:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it wasn't super "busy" but I stayed super busy. We had nothing on the "calendar" except cleaning out one of our storage buildings (Yeah!) so I got my table out of storage FINALLY and the kids toys and my movies. Now, as you know, I am a movie junkie. We are a movie family. I don't know why, we just love movies. We like to pile up on the couch or lay in the bed and watch movies. That's our thing. We don't do it all day every day, but when we want special "family time" that's what we do. And when Derek and I want a date night but we don't feel like going out we go to our trusty movie collection. However, I did not realize how vast our movie collection was until we toted those bad boys home. Its obscene. Ridiculous really, but I love my movies. I am going to have to buy a HUGE cabinet just to store those. Its not that we didn't know we had a lot of movies in storage, but see, in the last year, we have bought movies too and its ALOT. I could probably start a small movie rental business! :0) I know...so bad...

But on another note, I did get alot done yesterday. Got most of my laundry through, my house all clean and organized with all my crap from storage...It put me in a pretty good mood and I slept pretty good last night as a result!! Always a plus!! It was just nice to feel on top of it all for a change! Plus, I CAN'T WAIT to go home and cook dinner and sit at the table as a family like we used to do. I am "old-fashioned" that way I guess. Dinner should be with everyone at the table. I love that and I am a stickler for it and the last year has drove me insane that we couldn't do it. So yeah!! I have everything at home waiting on me! I am making new stuff tonight per the family's request...chicken n bowtie pasta, broccolli casserole, crusty italian bread and strawberry pretzel squares. yummy!!

Medical update

2009-06-13T11:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I survived! ha ha ha...Thursday night was the worst night of my life. I had to drink 1/2 gallon of the "prep kit" and I probably kept 1/4 or less down. It was awful. B.A.D. I don't think I would wish it on my worst enemy to be honest. I finally got to bed and was so nauseated I didn't really sleep between that and my nerves. Friday morning wasn't too bad. I didn't actually get back there until about 11:45. They put my iv in and gave me two things one to relax me and one to make me forget (HALLELUJAH) - within literally seconds everything went black. I woke up 2 hours later to my mom laughing because apparently I had been "awake' and repeating the same questions over and over due to the "amnesia medicine" and though I remember bits and pieces of yesterday afternoon and evening, apparently the amnesia medicine lasted awhile! They did discover pockets, which confirms that I have divroticulosis and I also have gall stones which means my next step is removal of the gall bladder. FUN FUN. The doctor is apparently very concerned that I have divroticulosis, because apparently it is pretty much unheard of in someone so young (I am only 25) So, not only am I LOVING my genetics right now, I am also researching increasing my fiber intake without taking a pill everday and the lifestyle change ahead in that I can't eat certain foods anymore...so long my beloved strawberries - unless I can figure something out there! :( But I look at this as an opportunity to educate myself and my kids on eating healthy and leading healthier lifestyles. Already, I have done a good job with my kids...they prefer fruit over other sweets and enjoy veggies and most "grown up" foods that small kids hate. So I can't complain too much.

Speaking of bragging on my kiddos...I was so tickled this morning. I gave my kids their first real allowance. I forgot to last week so they got double this week. They have done spectacular in helping around the house and helping me out. We recently redid their rooms and they got "nice big kid" furniture and stuff for their rooms so they are acting more responsibly. Shanna has always been like that. She's almost neurotic about it, Carson on the other hand could usually care less. Shanna gets her OCD from my side of the family. My dad was DIEHARD OCD. My kids are pretty mature for their age - especially Carson - and I can sit down and have a serious conversation with them if I need to. So we sat down and discussed the fair things for them to do in order to receive "a paycheck" like mommy and daddy every week. $5 per week for the following: They pick up their own rooms, make beds each morning, keep their bathroom neat (no dirty clothes in floor, no toothpaste in sink, empty the trash can if its full), take turns feeding their cats in the a.m. and p.m., take care of their dirty dishes (by placing in sink or trash) and water Papa Wheeler's plant outside on the front porch. Most of this is stuff they should do anyway, but my kids won't so we call them chores and a few are only done weekly so its not so bad. When I do my cleaning on the weekends, they usually love to help out anyway. Carson absolutely loves to clean tubs (don't ask me why), Shanna loves to help dust and they both love to sort laundry. So I was absolutely thrilled that they kept up their rooms for two straight weeks and was so happy to give them allowance this morning. I was even more proud when CArson went straight to his piggy bank and decided to save his money and Shanna did the same. They really are good kids.

Now, to brag on the hubby....he's been such a doll the last two days. He was very sweet and concerned and helped me so much the last two days and took care of me. It was absolutely precious and I love him to pieces for it. We went grocery shopping this morning and he was helping me pick out "healthier" foods for me, checking fiber content for me and so forth. He has been pretty worried about everything going on and it was so sweet to see him act like that yesterday. Completely out of character for him to be like that in public or in front of other people. It even threw my mom off! :) Its nice for people to see the sweet side of him I only get to see most of the time. he he he

Well, I am off to finish MY list of chores today since the kiddos are at the lake with the church...I just wasn't up to it today.

mid week blah

2009-06-10T18:41:00.000-07:00

Its Wednesday! Hip hip hooray!! :) I don't know why I am so excited to be honest. I have nothing to look forward to for the next couple of days. Tomorrow I get to live off water and lime jello (uck) in preparation for my procedure Friday afternoon. Ican't even have red or purple jello (which are the good flavors) so I am not looking forward to tomorrow. So I splurged and ate pizza rolls for dinner...ha ha ha...so healthy huh?

On a good note, I get one of my storage buildings emptied Saturday! YAY!! Can't wait! I am so excited. I can't wait. One less bill and I get my kitchen table back and the kids get some of their stuff back...it will be so nice.

what happens when you ask a 5 year old whats for dinner...

2009-06-09T17:25:00.000-07:00

You end up making (from scratch - cause nothing else is good enough for the princess!) chicken enchiladas and home made mac n cheese...

Yes. That is the weirdest combination EVER. So, my house smells like the yummiest mac n cheese and my favorite chicken enchiladas.

AND...I have to brag...my hubby is working grave yard this week and is getting home right after
I leave for work. So I get home today and guess what....my kitchen was SPOTLESS. Sparkling. Clean and BEAUTIFUL. And the three laundry baskets of laundry that I didn't do last night cause I fell asleep early...WASHED. DRYED. FOLDED. HUNG UP. Is he not a prince or what!?!?

I am so happy. So I can eat my dinner...and R.E.L.A.X.

Ball season is officially over...

2009-06-08T19:24:00.001-07:00

Carson's team lost their game tonight. :( Its okay though. They played well and I was proud of my son. He got a little hard on himself because he wasn't hitting - which one of the coaches even commented that its not like Carson to NOT hit the ball. He's usually pretty dead on. He might strike out but at least one of the strikes is a foul ball that was hit pretty hard. I don't think he even did that tonight. But I don't mind. He's still an All-Star in my book. :0)

I am looking forward to not having anything on the agenda for the next several nights. Especially Thursday and Friday. Friday is my procedure and I am sure I will be unconcious (spell check) the rest of the day! It doesn't take much to make me loopy and/or groggy so Mom should get a kick out of this. ha ha ha.

Other than that its pretty peaceful around here. Its quiet since daddy is sleeping. He almost has my living room finished! I am so excited!! Mom got some pretty laminate flooring at a liquidation place the other day for like $0.78 a square foot! WOO HOO! I am so there! I will just do my whole house in it instead of carpet for that cheap! I can get some rugs :0) Derek's not keen on the idea, but I can redo my whole house for less than $1,000.00 and spend the remaining $1,400.00 on the crown molding for the house or the tub and sink for the kids bathroom and there is a whole remodel job DONE. YES. I am aallllll over that.

So keep your fingers crossed I get what I want!! Then I can start busting walls out of my room and remodel my bathroom and then hopefully by this time next year - my hubby and his dad will have the cabinets they are building me for my kitchen done and my house will be EXACTLY like I want it for a change. So looking forward to that!

Lazy Sunday

2009-06-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

Well, its Sunday night...and I am doing my laundry frantically trying to get it done tonight so I don't have to worry with it through out the week. Shanna's softball season ended today. We placed 3rd in District so we were excited! It was a long tournament and our girls did good. I hope that next year is better for them. They deserve it. CArson's last game I think is tomorrow. I am really pumped. They did good this tournament - well, so far there have been 2 forfeits, but they still played and they did good.

However, the hubby works graveyard this week (read: BOO) and that means little to no sleep for me...I usually stay awake to make sure he wakes up and gets out the door on time. I know, I am such a good little wifey! ha ha ha....

So, I will be doing all night laundry! YIPPEE!! - well, I say all night, I only have about 6 loads total to do...i doubt I do them all tonight, I may just do a few more and then finish up tomorrow night after the game. I know - total randomness.

A true blessing in disguise.

2009-06-06T15:11:00.000-07:00

**warning: This is kinda long, but something I have been thinking about for a week or so and thought I would share**

The last week or so I have learned that I am going to have some procedures in the near future.
Nothing too major and nothing that does not happen every day and everyone will likely go through at some point in their lives. But, still, I am 25 and have NEVER had any major procedures done or been through anything medically (other than childbirth) that required a visit to the hospital or a stay in the hospital. (Thank the Lord). Since that is coming up, I was talking to the Mr. about how he would have to step it up for a week or two and take the reigns of the household and work two jobs at once...mine AND his....which got me to thinking. A year ago, this would not have happened. It made me realize how much has happened in the last year and how had the tornado not hit our house last April, my marriage would not have survived.

For starters, my marriage was really going through a bump. Derek and I were just not clicking like we normally do and we were constantly at each others throats. Like seriously. It actually came to a head one day about a week before the tornado hit and I kicked him out. It only lasted one night and we were working to getting back to ground A. But it just wasn't happening. So I was going through a pretty down time in my life. Neither of us really knew if we were going to make it and weren't really sure where to go from there.

The night the tornado hit, we had the tornado that hit our road and about 4 more that travelled over us. The sirens went off repeatedly all night and from about 9:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. we were running back and forth from our living room (trying to clear out what we could from the waterfall coming in the large hole in the roof directly over our movies and entertainment center) to the storm cellar (which is UPHILL in the wind and rain and over the two full grown pine trees that were between us and the cellar now). Alot of running. After we got hit and began assessing the damage we sent the kids (who were obviously traumatized and scared to death) to Derek's grandmother in a neighboring town, about 15 minutes away. She has a storm cellar and they weren't hit and had power so we sent them there so they wouldn't be so scared. My sister showed up and we were in my house trying to move stuff out of the living room. You couldn't hear anything for all the thunder and the literal waterfall in my living room (this is no exaggeration - it was an actual cascading waterfall coming into my house). All of the sudden, the wind started making funny noises and I looked out the window and saw a flashlight going biserck at the top of the hill. It was waving frantically in every direction and moving down the hill...I stepped out on the porch and heard Derek's voice screaming my name at the top of his lungs. I could hear the absolute terror in his voice and then I heard the sirens. My sister and I charged up the hill against the wind (which was blowing in every direction imaginable) as fast as we could. I learned after we got to safety that another funnel had been spotted at the firestation through the woods and was coming down the exact same path. It was at that moment, when I heard the fear in his voice, saw how frantically he was attempting to not break his neck and run down hill in the rain and jump two trees and saw the panick on his face that he was terrified something would happen to ME. I think that is when he realized it too. The next day when my mother-in-law and I were talking, I made the comment that we were truly truly lucky and God was watching over us. She made a remark that was like a light switch coming on. She said "or maybe he was trying to tell somebody something". In that absolute moment, I realized he was. He was speaking to me and Derek and showing us that we had alot to be thankful for. Alot that we cared about and would be devestated if we lost.

To this day, our relationship has never been stronger. We have our moments of course, but it has been so much better since that night. Dealing with everything we have had come our way in the last year would not have been possible if we had not had that eye opener.

Not to mention the lesson that it taught our kids. It could always be worse. We were extremely lucky that we live in the "gorge" that we do. I complain about living down at the bottom of the hill all the time because our yard is awful when it rains. But, had we not been down there, our home likely would have been blown over and sent sailing across the neighborhood very very easily. My kids realized that in a second, everything can be lost. I think that has made them very very grateful for the things in life that they do have. Since their rooms were destroyed and have had to be redone, they take care of their things better, want to make sure everything is taken care of and kept neat and special. I could not be more happy that this happened to our family when it did. It was truly one of the few "blessings in disguise" that I will remember for the rest of my life. I realized that the answers to lifes questions are not answered in black and white. God answers your prayers with actions and when you are not sure where to go, you have to pay attention, because sometimes the worst things in life are the answers you are truly looking for.

Dr. Appointment Recap

2009-06-04T07:29:00.001-07:00

Morning!! So yesterday was hump day..woo hoo!! and my consult for my procedure that is coming up...

It was scheduled for next week - not too excited about that but he PROMISED I would be completely unaware so that makes me feel better. After that we get to discuss the removal of my gall bladder. Fun times.

We had softball practice last night and we did pretty okay. We are doing better but I am definitely looking forward to a couple of months off. The ballpark every day is starting to wear on me. I need some home time and friend time and just some freaking me time! :0)

I spent the rest of the evening at home cleaning house and swapping laundry. I am trying to get a head start since I will be at the ball park again this weekend. But again, this is the last weekend so yeah!

My m.i.l. decided to finish up the walls and furniture for my kids rooms. Carson's is looking so good. I will take pics and post later. I am so excited. I am getting ready to paint their bathroom next. I am thinking like baby/springtime/sunshine yellow and white - like daisy's. That feels clean, fresh, and feminine to me. I need something girly. The rest of my house for all intents and purposes will be done in mossy oak (I am addicted) so I need my bathrooms to be a little more girly....what do you think??

Okay, I know I know...

2009-06-02T09:39:00.001-07:00

I've been gone...again....I will get better I promise!! I am trying reeallllllyyyy hard to be more organized and on top of things. But, that in itself is a challenge. So, I promise to try to blog more regularly. We had our tournament Saturday at our park. The entire "fest" itself was a success. The kids had a blast. Our girls could have played better, but given all the other things to do, they weren't really into it. So we placed 3rd in our own tournament, but its all good. They had fun and we got done what we needed. and I got a much needed "date night" with the hubby afterwards, even though I was nearly comatose from exhaustion and sunburned like crazy, we still had a nice time catching up with some old friends. We have district tournament this weekend, so wish us luck!!! Then we will get a month or so off before we gear up for fall ball! Woo Hoo!! :)

On a personal note, the last blog I had (that I screwed up so bad) detailed in more detail the personal health issues I have been having. For the most part, after the CT scan showed nothing and I made it through the hardcore antibiotics I was given, I figured all would be fine...no such luck...it seems that my symptoms are creeping up one by one instead of hitting me all at once like last time, so I am going to have to go back to the doctor to find out what the deal is. So boo about that.

In other news, my kiddos are out for the Summer! Carson could not be more excited. Shanna is excited too, but she's been out for a week without bubba so she's not as stoked any more. Its "routine" for her now. ha ha ha....We are planning on going to the Memphis Zoo with them for a few days in July when hubby and I are both off so they are enjoying "planning" that out for us at the moment. Well, enough ketchup for now.....until next time!!

Happy Memorial Day!!

2009-05-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I have thoroughly enjoyed my day off!! :) Even though it wasn't a true day off b/c I spent the first half of it cleaning my house - what I didn't finish last night. But I am satisfied. I stayed home most of the day with my family. I got to cook lunch and eat with my kids, which never happens cause we are usually on the go during the weekends and eat lunch on Sundays at Grandmas. I feel refreshed and relaxed!!

I am in the process of cooking my manicotti for my family (per their request) and am looking forward to a yummy home cooked family dinner!! yeah!!

Now to gear up for a short but busy week!!

and last but certainly not least....Thank you to the soldiers who have laid their lives down for our country so me and my family could enjoy the freedom we all love so dear!! Thank you!!

Rainy Sunday

2009-05-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

Well, both kids rooms are painted and the trim up! YEAH!! All that's left is the hall, kitchen, living room and back bathroom...then the carpet and then a break while I decide what to do with the rest of the place! FINALLY!! So excited.

We had a ball tournament yesterday. I don't know what my deal was. I was so pumped to play yesterday but I got up in a SERIOUSLY pissy mood. I don't know why. I think it was in the air, because Shanna and Carson were both pissy, alot of my girls were whinier than usual and NONE of them seemed to want to play. That could be because we were playing like teams that are waaaaaaaayyyyyyy above us on skill level, but hey like the other parents were saying "its good practice". And it is good practice, but we have a tournament for the next two weekends. I didn't want to start our tournament weekends playing these teams ya know? and I am not even sure that all our parents realized this, but we have a tournament at our ball park next weekend and district the weekend after...sooo.....but I am excited for the girls because we do have some awesome games coming up that I am really looking forward to. :) We did get a tournament trophy yesterday though. Not sure how we managed that but we did. Our girls were so excited! They deserved a tournament trophy so much this year so I am excited that they finally got one!

I am in a much better mood this morning, I think I maybe just didn't sleep well the night before and after sleeping about 4 hours a night all week with Derek's hours last week it just caught up with me.

We went grocery shopping last night. In my attempt to be more on top of things at home, I spent last night clipping coupons, planning a menu and grocery shopping. Hot Saturday night with the husband huh? ha ha ha....So I get to cook this week! I haven't cooked in awhile and may be part of my problem. Cooking is my stress relief and I tend to get crabby when I go for awhile without doing it. So instead of the usual grilled hotdogs, hamburgers, mac n cheese and stuff for Memorial Day, I am making my husband's FAVORITE FAVORITE dish, My manacotti and crusy italian bread. He loves my manacotti. It was the first thing 'from scratch' I ever cooked for him and from that day on, he has NEVER said I could not cook. In fact, when he sees me cooking the kitchen and there are no boxes around, he gets all excited and wants to come taste. The best part of being in my kitchen is my kids. They LOVE to sit on the other side of the bar and ask questions "how do you know what to put in there?" "Why does it look so gross right now but taste so yummy later?" "When I get big will you show me how to cook?" So, this week, I am cooking almost every night. Shanna and Carson got excited when we got home with grocery bags. They like to help unload the groceries and this is usually what you hear "YYYEAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! Apples, Look Shanna, mom bought Apples!!" "ooohhh, oooohhh, Carson, look POPTARTS!! MY FAVORITE!" Its hilarious. You would think these kids starve and live on bologna and ketchup when I bring home groceries. :)

But today, today is housecleaning day. We are having family time tomorrow and not doing anything but staying home and spending time with our kids. So today, I have to get my house immaculate (which is going to be a miracle! Luckily, my mother-in-law has been painting for us and in between she will do laundry or my dishes or clean a room - I get on to her but I am SO grateful for her help. It was much needed since I have not had the energy the last two weeks to do it all alone and Derek's help is sometimes nonexistent).

So I am off to start in my bathroom and work my way back to the kids rooms so I can enjoy a TRUE day off tomorrow!! Happy Memorial Day everyone!

In Remembrance

2009-05-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

Today is May 20th. Today is my dad's birthday. May he rest in peace. I miss you every day and now more than ever, I wish you were here. I hope your first birthday in Heaven is your best ever!! I love you.

okay, lets try this again!!!

2009-05-16T17:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, lets try this again folks!! After hours of messing around with my previous blog...in my frustration I completely deleted it! GGRRRR...I know, I am not patient today. Mother nature is getting to me! Ha ha ha...So I am going to try to cutesify my blog again and start over!! Of course, I will have to repost the blogs I did this morning to show off what I was bragging about before, so if the old ones still show up on your dash board, I apologize! :)

So here we go!!

**EDITED TO ADD: Okay, so I played a little more and thanks to Ashley Jo for letting me know I can import my old blog posts into this one! YEAH! SO, I figured it out...go me...and therefore, my old posts are here too! Super excited! Now, to figure out the text and picture problem....which is really frustrating me**

okay....soooo mad

2009-05-16T17:18:00.003-07:00

Yeah, I have been trying to "update" my blog look and try to familiarize myself with all this stuff...and in the process have thoroughly and probably permanently screwed my blog ALL UP. Talk about pissed! So after three hourse of making it worse, I quit. ANYONE OUT THERE...HELP!!!!!

I'M SO PROUD OF ME!!!

2009-05-16T15:53:00.003-07:00

I am playing with my blog and trying to make it cuter...and look what I figured out!! I got a signature and I got it below my text!!! WOO HOO!! Look at me go!! I am soooo getting there!!

Martian March

2009-05-16T08:40:00.003-07:00

Shanna had her dance recital last night...the SWEETEST THING EVER!!!! Her class did the martian march. I recorded it. She is on the back row and all the way to your left! Enjoy!!!

A little late on my picture!!

2009-05-16T08:37:00.003-07:00

okay, so like 2 weeks ago when I was bragging on my $4 yard sale find that I love love love?? Here it is! Isn't it gorgeous!! I just love it! :) Go Me!! and I still can't figure out how to make my pictures go UNDER the text...any help??

Tuesday Tuesday

2009-05-12T16:26:00.003-07:00

okay, not alot goin on today.

I did watch a new movie recently. The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. It was okay, not something I would watch over and over and it was LONG. But it was a good movie I reckon. A little wierd watching Brad Pitt walk around shooting people and stuff...and it was a little gory.

Shanna's dance recital is Friday. So excited! She is going to do a martian march. its so cute. I will post pics later!

Talk to you later!!

happy belated mother's day... :)

2009-05-11T16:43:00.003-07:00

Sorry fellow bloggers...haven't had my computer all weekend. My boss had to work on a brief so I loaned to her while she was at the hospital with her hubby (he's okay now -bless his heart) so she could work on it.

I had the busiest weekend. I watched my little man play ball Friday night. I absolutely love the ball park. Have I mentioned that lately? ha ha ha...he did so good and we FINALLY beat a team that tends to cheat. Okay, the team doesn't, but the coaches are the kind that tend to bend the rules. They weren't happy that we beat them! and my little man hit the winning run in! I was so proud. They all did good. Of course, I worked the concession stand and watched the majority of the game from there. :( but its okay, I don't mind helping out when needed.
Saturday morning we got up at 3:00 a..m. and left for Memphis. We went to watch Pinks All Out. The boys were so excited. I thought it would be nice to get away and spend time with my boys. 3+ hour drive. LONG. and it was POURING DOWN RAIN. I am talking 10 buckets of rain per second. Horrible. Then we get a ticket b/c my tags expired two months ago and I had no clue. We didn't get the reminder in the mail (go figure). We finally get there and its still raining. Well, we were there aaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day. For like 16 hours of racing. That's alot. and the sun came out after the rain so we were all stinky and sunburned and then it got cold. Yeah, it was miserable but it was fun to watch, I have to admit. But I dreaded the forever long ride home and we were both so tired. I had to drive the last 1/2 of the way back b/c Derek about fell asleep behind the wheel. It was like 1:30 a.m. before we made it home. But Carson had a blast. But I have to admit not worthing missing my teams game on Saturday. They postponed last weekends game to this past Saturday but we had already bought my ticket, so I had to go. :( But its okay.

Then Mother's DAy! We had a lovely lazy day. My mother in law found a little baby turtle and gave it to Shanna. She loved him. She refused to let him go. So we ended up buying a 10 gallon tank (then we found out they carry salmonella - so we got a lid for the tank and come up with the rule that NO ONE TOUCHES THE TURTLE!). He's already spoiled. Got a big ole tank, a few rocks, a little swimming pool with a rock in it and everything!! She even named him Brock. Don't ask, I don't know - why would you name a turtle Brock? She's so silly.

Now, its Monday. the Monday from You Know Where!! But n e who...so that was my weekend. Hopin for a better week!! :) I know, this post is totally retarded and random!! ha ha ha! Talk to you later!!

Kids in the Kitchen!!

2009-05-07T19:19:00.003-07:00

Okay, so like my biggest stress relieving hobby is cooking. I absolutely love to cook. LOVE IT. I love spending hours in my kitchen and I drool over other people's kitchens. Seriously. No exaggeration. Its my favorite room of everyone's house. You Tim Allen on Home Improvement? How he was with cars and tools?? Yeah, me with a kitchen and kitchen gadgets. My brother brought a breadmaker someone gave hime (practically BRAND NEW AND NEVER USED) to dirty santa last year as a "white elephant" (I KNOW RIGHT?!)...Needless to say, I got it and whenever ANYONE looked my way like they were going to take it, they got the bad stinkeye! ha ha ha...obsessed.

My kids absolutely love to be on the other side of the bar when I cook. Its how I grew up watching my aunt in her kitchen and I believe is why I love to cook. She used to watch us in the Summer and she was bound and determined to make me and my sister Ms. Susie Domestic so we spent every summer with her planting in her garden, cleaning house, learning how to cook, and learning how to sew. Cooking is the only thing that stuck. :)

Well, in my children's school, the Kindergarten apparently make cookbooks. My kids had different kindergarten teachers. My son made one for us last year and my daughter just brought hers home. I love them. This was the best idea and the perfect mother's day present!! The kids tell their teacher their most favorite recipe that their mommy's cook and the kids draw on a piece of paper and give the teacher their version of the recipe (which is hilarious!) and then they type up the actual recipe behind it! So, I thought I would share my kids recipes....and I reckon share two of my family's absolute faves with you!!

Kindergarten 2007-2008 - Carson's Recipe: Carson actually said my lasagna, but I buy a frozen one more often than I actually do one from scractch, so I gave up my manicotti recipe (which my mom couldn't believe, cause I used to refuse to share it, but since I have my dads top secret chocolate pie recipe and am the only one with it, I decided it was okay ha ha ha!):

LASAGNA, BY CARSON
Cheese
Noodles
Sauce

I'm not sure, but I think she buys it at Wal-Mart. She puts it in the oven. She cooks it at 300 degrees for 3 hours. She takes it out and lets it cool. We eat it with bread. ***side note from me- he has colored around his recipe with the phrase "salt is good. Tamatos are good with salt. Yum!!! Good!!!" My son eats tomatoes like women eat chocolate! He loves them. They are his fave!***

MANACOTTI

Boil manacottie noodles as directed on the box. Cook 1 lb of pork sausage and crumble. Mix the sausage with a large container of ricotta cheeese. Mix in 1 egg, garlic powder and oregano (to taste, a little or a lot, doesn't matter). Stuff the noodles with the mixture and place in a large lasagna pan. Pour 1 jar of pasta sauce over noodles (I use Prego Ricotta Parmesan). Cook in oven at 400 degrees for 30 minutes until sauce is bubbling. Sprinkle mozzerella cheese on top and cook until melted. YUM YUM YUM. Awesome with crusty italian bread.

now under this recipes, hes colored a picture of salt and tomatoes and wrote yum yum yum yum yum down the page! ha ha ha...he's so silly.

Now for Shanna....she absolutely loves my biscuits and gravy. Its a knockoff of cracker barrells. I won't eat biscuits and gravy unless it is from cracker barrell or I make it. I am too picky. :)

BISCUITS AND GRAVY by SHANNA

Get flour as big as two spoons.
4 eggs
2 inches of water
Mix with mixing spoon. Slap biscuits with your hand. PUt in 5 degree oven for 7 minutes. Chop biscuits.

Gravy
Take a little bit of pepper and hardly any salt and put in a little pan on stove. Cook for 5 minutes.

how hilarious is that! ha ha ha...and of course she drew me in my apron and some funky hat (which I don't wear hats, so not sure where she came up with that!)

SAwmill Gravy

1/2 lb ground pork sausage
3 1/4 c. milk
1/8 tsp dried italian seasoning
1/4 c. butter
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 c. all purpose flour
1/2 tsp pepper

Cook sausage in a large skillet over medium heat, stirring it until it crumbles and is no longer pink. Remove sausage with a spoon leaving the drippings (that's how I do it, you are supposed to leave only 1 tbsp drippings but I use a big ole skillet) Melt butter with drippings in skillet over low heat. Whisk flour until smoothg. Cook, whisking constantly 1 minute. Gradually whisk in milk, and cook, whisking constantly, over medium heat until thickened and bubbly. Stir in sausage, salt, pepper and Italian seasoning.

Sooooo yummy. :)

ENJOY!!

Opportunity knocks...to answer the door, or pretend I'm not home?

2009-05-05T20:01:00.003-07:00

Its been a busy, wet, long couple of days.

We had a ball tournament Friday and SAturday. I was pumped about the tournament. Friday night we lost (because the ump was a lazy tard). I love softball. If you can't tell and it makes me IRATE when we have a dumb umpire. UGH. Read your rule book and take off the sunglasses that are obviously hindering your freaking vision! okay, nuff of that!

So Saturday morning, I get up super early and go yard saling at this nice neighborhood yardsale. I scored the most beautiful fake pearl and diamond bracelet for $4! I will get a pic of it later. Its gorgeous. I was so proud :)

We get to the ball park at about 9:30 a.m. and it is storming. So of course they call of the games. No big deal, I have a bunch of stuff do at home. We go to Home Depot and bought the paint for Sha Bug's room. We go have dinner at Grandma's Saturday night to make up for the next day when we wouldn't be having the usual lunch with her. While we are there, I about die I start hurting so bad. Not sure what the deal was, but it was miserable. So I ended up in bed early and all day Sunday. I didn't get squat done.

Today, however, I was presented with an opportunity. It is really flattering that I was offered this but I am not sure I can handle it. It may (as much as I hate to admit this) be too much. However, I have gotten completely positive feedback from my few family members I trust completely and confided in...I am pondering the decision tonight even though I kina already sorta accepted. I will give more details later when everything is done in stone. However, in order to be on top of this my hubby just asks that I get on top of everything at home. Which I am not.

So in my attempts to prove that I am Super Mom (which I so am not, but would love to be) I have attempted the impossible tonight. My desk in my room. Which I swear has been literally BURIED under paper, receipts, miscellaneous junk, mail, and anything and everything you could think from the last 5 months. I have not even attempted to clean my desk in months. It just kept getting worse and worse and I kept putting it off. So, I decided tonight, I will become organized. So to keep me motivated, I am going to set a goal for my self at least weekly. We will see how long this last, but it is my goal to be completely OCD and on top of every aspect of my life. I want to be organized like a stay at home wife and mom, but be everything else too. :) My son told me once I was supermom and I about cried because I knew it was so far from the truth. And with DAd's death and everything going on around me, I have just felt completely fallen through the cracks. So, I am shaping up! :) Wish me luck!

So far, you can now see my desk, I have gotten rid of the trash and enourmous amount of dust on everything...I am serious when I say I have avoided this part of my room like the plague....and I have three 2 feet tall stack of papers to go through and sort and place or whatever....FUN FUN FUN...I have fun night ahead of me tomorrow since there is no ball games! WOO HOO....

Grateful...very very grateful

2009-04-30T15:48:00.003-07:00

Well, yesterday was the day. I went to the doctor to find out the results of my ct the day before. I was sitting on the table and all I heard when the doctor walked in was "blah blah blah...which surgeon in town do you want to use?" Mom was with me and she said you could just see the color drain from my face. My mind went completely blank...I literally said "uuggghhh..wh..what..huh..why do I have....surgery?" I am sure I sounded like a pathetic mess. I almost started bawling. He was like "um, your ct was CLEAR....so you have to have a colonoscopy". Ha. So, if I would LISTEN that might actually help things! So, good news, my ct was perfect. My abdoment, colon, intestestines, uterus, ovaries and pelvic area show absolutely no abnormalities andlook wonderfully healthy! Praise the Lord!! I was so scared. Like to the point of tears. But the bad news is...I get to have a colonoscopy when I am through with my antibiotics. Yuck. Yuck isn't even the word. UGH.

So last night as I made my wonderfully wonderful biscuits and gravy from scratch I was thinking about how relieved and grateful I was for a clear ct. I got to thinking about the wonderful things I am so thankful for.

1. My husband. I am so lucky to have someone in my life that I can share everything with. He drives me absolutely batty and sometimes (like later last night) I want to hit upside the head with my favorite skillet (the cast iron one he bought me for easter - awwww) but nevertheless, he is my best friend and the other half of me and I absolutely adore him for that. : )

2. My kids. I still can't believe I am even old enough to have an almost 6 year old and a 7 year old (some would argue that I am not) but they amaze me every day with their brilliance and innocence. They are my sole reason for getting up every morning (literally, cause without me they would not make it to school ha ha ha! j/k) and I can't remember how I functioned before without them.

3. My friends. I remember after my kids were born, I honestly had three friends. My husband, and my two best girlfriends. One, BArbie, who I have had since I was 13. who is not my best friend anymore. She is my sister. I have considered her my sister for some time now and I tell people she is my sister. I love her dearly and there is not a thing in the world I wouldn't do for her. She doesn't live close by so I hardly see her, maybe once or twice a year, but I talk to her all the time and I miss her dearly. the other, Brooke, has been my best friend since Derek and I started dating. Her husband is Derek's best friend so we are together every day. I remember how lonely I would get after my kids were born because I went from having tons of friends to having three and it broke my heart. I didn't feel welcome anywhere without them with me. I was depressed and lonely. NOw, I have a great group of friends that I would not trade for the world. I love seeing them all and I am so grateful that they are in my life.

4. My grams and my mom. I know that without these two women, I would not be the person I am today. They are the strongest women I know. The things these women have experienced in their lives is almost at times straight out of a soap opera and its a wonder that they both haven't been committed! I know if I experienced half of what my grams has, I would have to be! I love them dearly and can't imagine life without either of them.

5. Vanilla Rootbeer from Sonic. Ha ha ha..I know! My life owuld not e complete without it! :)

Well, I enough of my ramblings for the day!! I am off to see my lil super hero play some ball tonight. Wish us luck!!

CT day...

2009-04-28T19:59:00.003-07:00

okay, well, I had my ct scan this morning. Boo. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it was by no means a wonderful experience.

I spent half the day there and I am still recuperating. I have never felt so blah in my entire life. I feel as though I have ran a three day marathon and I think pregnancy morning sickness is BY FAR less excrutiating than the nausea I have dealt with all day. I think an order of Finegrin (spell check anyone?) will be on the menu when I meet with the doc tomorrow to discuss the findings (if any...wouldn't that be something? Get there and this is all nothing and completely in my head - I think I would rejoice!).

I got there an hour and a half early - per their request - and filled out the paperwork (all 2 pages of it that took less than five minutes mind you) and then when my appointment time rolled around I went back and had the first scan done. I laid up on the bed and squeezed my eyes shut and rocked in and out of this machine. I tried to picture myself on some funky ride at Disney World. (I know right?). This wasn't a big deal but for some reason when it comes to me dealing with machines like this that I don't deal with regularly, I realize I watch too much t.v. and I have serious anxiety issues.

Well, after round 1, I got to drink TWO LARGE cups of "pink lemonade"...or in medical terminology terms - contrast...I thought I was going to be sick. I love pink lemonade. I prefer it over regular lemonade most of the time. But I haven't been able to hold much down without a struggle for over a week now and this was really really hard. I was so nauseated that it took every ounce of will power in my being to keep it down. After about forty-five minutes I went back in there. I had to drink ANOTHER 1/4 of cup of it and then they put an iv in me with more! I swear!! I HATE needles...HATE. I don't do well with needles. AT ALL. Like a five year old, I had my mommy with me and she had to hold my hand and talk to me while they did the iv. It hurt so bad. I have hard veins to get anyway and she had to poke me three times. All I could think about was a month ago when they tried to draw Carson's blood while he was sick and he was screaming for dear life and begging me to make them quit. I think it made me stronger and more able to deal. I just closed me eyes, squeezed my mother's thumb till it was purple (no exaggeration) and pictured my little boy there holding me like I did him. Bless his heart. I came home and showed him the little marks and told him mommy didn't cry because he was such a big boy when he had it done. You should have seen the pride in his face. He was so proud of mommy for being a "big girl" ha ha ha...

So then I rocked back and forth some more with tubes coming out of my arms. Then I got sick all over again. I swear...that contrast did not agree with my stomach AT ALL. I barely made it home where I had to sit for like over an hour waiting on something to kick in and make it stop! It was HORRIBLE. I will never do that again if I can help it and I swear if I do, I ain't going to work afterward for sure!! I have felt like I was going to throw up all afternoon. They should really give out something for that afterward. They surely didn't warn me about it!

So, there has been my pleasant day! I hope ya'lls was by far better! I am off to bed now where hopefully the Mr. will feel sorry for me and massage my back cause it is also throbbing.....I think I am falling apart! :)

Keep me in your prayers tomorrow that this is nothing and it all works out in the end!! Nighty night.

Monday Monday!!

2009-04-27T19:04:00.003-07:00

Well, we had a ball game tonight. Carson's team lost but they did good. I love going to his games. I have so much fun. In years past I have kinda been alone and not had anyone to really talk to so I was so relieved when I realized I knew another mom!! Its an old friend from highschool and it has been great catching up. And even better, there is a second mom who's daughter is on my softball team so I have people to talk to and stuff at the games. Its so nice. I love it. :)

I have my ct scan done tomorrow. They think I have divroticulitis and I get to start the testing for that. I am scared as hell. I hope hope hope hope hope that they are wrong and I just have some sort of like constipation issue or something! I would be pissed that I stressed for nothing but absolutely relieved that nothing serious is wrong. So keep me in your prayers! I see the doctor on WEdnesday afternoon to discuss the results.

In other news, I might get me a new baby! I am so excited. I have a friend who has a friend who has a friend (I know right?) that has 2 yorkies that she has to give away. She can't take care of them any more (don't know why, but I don't care!) and I sooooo miss my baby Brody. Derek said if we got another yorkie it had to be free and it couldn't be a puppy. He wanted one that was at least a year or two old so it was hopefully housebroke and fixed! Well these girls are fixed and 4 and FREE!! Woo Hoo! I haven't heard back on it yet, but I hope so much it all works out. I was sick (literally) for like a month and to this day tear up when I think about Brody. It devestated me when he was snatched (I guess he could have ran off since my hubby was such a moron and wasn't paying attention and just left him outside unattended - but he would rarely leave the porch much less get half way up to the road, so I think he was snatched) and I miss my darling baby so much. I threw up for two days when it happend I was so upset. I even left work early and me and my friend spent 6 HOURS going door to door. I was like a mother who literally just lost her child. It was devestating. I have wanted a yorkie for 10 years, I finally got one and Derek lost him! It broke me. So I really really really hope this works out! I will let you know of course!! It would definitely brighten up my week to get two new baby girls! :)

Speaking of getting a baby girl, keep your fingers crossed for my friend, who wants to adopt a baby girl that needs a loving home. She is currently in foster care and my friend is such a good mom...that baby girl would be so lucky to be part of that family. They are really wonderful people and she just really wants it so bad for all the right reasons. I have been praying that it would work out for them. I would love to do that more than anything and I have wanted to for a long time, I am just not in any position to be able to. Fortunately for this little girl, my friend is! So here's hoping! :)

story of my life...

2009-04-25T08:28:00.003-07:00

Well, my week has been completely craptastic. I have not been able to eat more than LITERALLY a bite of food for a week now. I have been forcing myself to eat more the last two days b/c I know it is dangerous to go this long without proper nutrition. But I can't do it hardly. I feel like I have eaten ten Thanksgiving dinners after two bites. And that is going 24 hours or more between "meals", if you would even call them that. It's ridiculous. On top of that and a few more personal issues, I have had abdominal pain that won't go away for three weeks now. It started as food poisening a few weeks ago, it got better but the pain never went away. Now its to the point that it really hurts and its making me nervous. So, I suck it up and go to the doctor yesterday. Now, a little history, I have EVERYTHING running through my genetic makeup. This is no exageration. You name it, I have a family history of it. My mother has been sick with several forms of cancer (some of which she has beat, some she is still to this day fighting) and other serious medical conditions since I was 13. My grandmother also has several severe medical issues that can be handed down...so I don't do doctors or medicine. I hate medicine. I don't like feeling loopy or doped up and I don't like doctors b/c I don't believe all of them have your best interests at heart. I also don't want to know what medical conditions I inherited from my family...I just as soon not know and live a full happy life then know and spend the rest of my life tired from treatment. Well, because of the pain, I had to go. And sure enough. They are pretty sure that I have one of my mother's wonderful conditions. Now, right now its kinda serious b/c of the infection I currently have. I am afraid if they are right that it could explode at any second, but they have me on some serious antibiotics so I should be fine. But once I get the scans and stuff next week we should be okay and I will just have to make some lifestyle changes. I will have to live with this forever, but I think I will be okay. But still, it sucks. and I am a chicken and therefore, terrified. I don't want to be the sick mommy. I want to be the fun and active and carefree mommy. The mommy who worries about whether or not her daughter is having fun at school and whether or not her son is doing his best in class. Not the mommy who has to worry about prescriptions at the pharmacy and taking medicine every day and whether or not I will feel well enough to do something later. Plus, its not fair to my husband to have to pick up my slack like he has had to the last couple of weeks. This week especially. I have been useless. I will not. I refuse. Yes, like I said, I am super stubborn in this department.

On a more positive note, I am hopelessly addicted to the Twilight Soundtrack. I don't know why. But I love it! You should check it out. : ) leave out all the rest by Linkin Park and Supermassive Black Hole by Muse are probably my faves on the CD followed by the 2 songs by Paramoure that are on their. :)

Okay, well, that is all for now!! Talk to you later!!

Sunday Scoop n HAPPY EASTER!

2009-04-12T08:35:00.003-07:00

okay, well, I am a holiday ho. I love holidays, I love everything about them. I love how people are in happy moods on holidays. I love the food, the smells, the colors, the traditions, the excitement, the anticipation. My favorites are (in order): Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day (This is my biological dad's birthday which is why its special to me), July 4th, Memorial/Labor Days, Valentine's Day and any other day off!! ha ha ha.....

I love holidays where I get to pretend I am something special like Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny. My kids still believe in both, and I love playing it. This morning was no exception. I put the baskets out at about midnight.....Shanna woke up and there was a spider on her window in her room. She came to get daddy and after daddy dealt with the teeny spider I couldn't believe she saw, she sleepily asked him 'can I go through that easter basket I saw now?' :) how cute is she?? So I told em to come on and they came running..."ooohh,,, a frisbeeee!!!" "ooohhh, reeses eggs! I love reeses eggs" and my absolute fave quote of the morning...my darling 5 year old daughter with the biggest heart of gold in the world "LOOK MOMMY!! I GOT A BABY DUCKLING!!" (its not real, its a doll) but you couldn't tell her otherwise. This child has more baby dolls and stuffed animals than anything in the world, but if she doesn't get some kind of animal for easter, she will be devestated. She loves to walk down the aisle at walmart and just stare at all the plush bunnies, and puppies, and duckies, and chickies....ITS ADORABLE.

So we had our easter fun this morning! We did our easter egg hunt yesterday (good thing too apparently, since its pouring outside) at my friend Brooke's. We have a yearly tradition for Easter Weekend. On Friday night our kids get together and we color eggs. On Saturday about 11ish we get together and hide eggs over and over and over...then we cookout that evening and hang out. of course this year, we couldn't cook out. I had a close cousin come in from Utah and she's prego (YEAH!!) and I couldn't wait to see her so I had to go there last night, but its okay! So we had a busy day and a fun one! Nothing like cookouts and easter egg hunts!!

oh!!! and guess what!!! I found the most awesome thing yesterday!!! I live in a tiny town. very small. We have 1 stop light at the main intersection. We got that like may 6 years ago....we felt special. We have 2 gas stations, both of which sell pizza and sandwiches, one which has a car wash. They have been there since I was tiny. Well, in the last like 2 years, we have grown. We have a small bank, a Fred's and a Sonic! It's not the same tiny town it used to be! They even put a Big Red down the highway with a McDonald's...well, like a week ago they opened a Dollar General next to Fred's. Don't know why, but they did. (For the record, I am waiting on a grocery store. I want a real grocery store out here dangit!! So I don't have to go to town!! ha ha ha, I am lazy like that) I don't like Fred's. Now, I generally go to Benton for everything, grocery shopping, Wal-Mart everything. Fred's. It doesn't have my preferred brands and the few brands they do have I have to pay nearly double for unless I want to drive 15 minutes to Benton for laundry detergent when I am lookin rough cause I am cleaning house....The color bleach I usually pay like $5 for at walmart was over $8 at Fred's!! No thanks!! so we stopped yesterday to check out the DG...just to compare prices to Walmart and Fred's next door when we needed something in a pinch. OMG. Loved it. They had tons of my preferred brands, comparable to WalMArt and they are right down the road. No more going to Walmart for one cleaning item and coming out with a cart full! WOO HOO. But, what made my day...a mop. Yes, a mop. See, my linoleum floors have those little cellulite looking grooves in it...I hate it. and hopefully in the next couple of months, those floors will be gone! But for now, I have to spend about 3 hours on my hands and knees with a Mr. Clean MAgic Eraser (b/c nothing else will clean those little grooves) and mop by hand my kitchen and the bathrooms. I HATE IT. Hate. With a fiery passion that burns. My back and knees are killing me when I am through and I am so sore the next day. Well, as I was walking down the cleaning aisles at DG yesterday, I passed the mops, when the word "magic eraser" caught my eye. OH YES, there was a MOP made by Mr. Clean and the mop pad was a big ole MAGIC ERASER!!! AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!! I just about cried I was soooo excited! I paid $13 for a mop (which is ridiculous!!!) But I don't care. I would have paid $50 not to have to go on my hands and knees for hours!! My hunny just laughed at me. It is so sad that you come to a point in your life that something that makes you so happy is a mop! ha ha ha...Well, HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!