Good News/Bad News

okay, so today was a good news bad news day.

Good News: My hubby starts his new job Monday!!! (its at the same place, just a different part of the plant)...so yeah!! Why is that such good news....cause he no longer works the funky 12 hour shifts that alternate between nights and days...which means that no longer will we have two consecutive weekends every three to four weeks to make plans and no longer will I have to be single mommying it for weeks at a time like I have all month!!! Why you ask?? Because NOW my hubby works from Monday to Friday 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.!!! SCORE! I am sooo excited to have a normal family life again. I have been feeling so alone and depressed and stressed because I am literally pulling all the family weight solo. It sucks and its stressful. No more!! I get to see my hubby and have an actual marriage again instead of a roomie! YEAH!!!

Bad News: His plant is getting to ready to lay off 40% of their employees until mid July. Boo. No idea which one yet, but I do know that for today, its not him!! Thank the Lord!! I just hope and pray that he avoids the lay off. I know those chances are slim to none right now b/c he's kind of the low man on the totem pole since he's only been there a few months...but hey, a girl can dream!!

***

In other news...we start our first softball tournament this weekend. So ready for it! I can't wait. Despite the fact that two of our key players were stolen to another team less than a week ahead of time...we will recover. We got a pretty good little team and I am so excited! But of course, if this rainy weather doesn't let up, we might not get to play :(

***

Oh, and more yucky news...I think I am allergic to Maybelline Mascara. It has been bugging the crap out of my eyes. So I am going to have to get new mascara. I fell in love with Sephora at Park Plaza Mall the other day. I would love to go back and play!! I could easily spend some serious money there (but I can't bring myself to actually do that) and waste an entire day there. I want to try this Dior mascara they have there...I have read AMAZING things about it...but not sure I can bring myself to spend $24 on mascara...even if the tube is like double the size of hte stuff at walmart...especially since we aren't sure if Derek is getting laid off soon...so I get to mascara shop this weekend! So excited! If there is one thing I love to shop for, its mascara. I don't know why, but mascara has always been my one "I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT" item since I was like 16. I know, I am such a dork!! But I'll let you know what I find!!

Playing catchup

Okay, so its been awhile...been just a tad bit busy...

Sis-in-law's wedding was last weekend. It was beautiful if I do say so myself. I was thrilled for her. Her day went just as she wanted it. So I was pumped. I slept 7 hours in 2 days, but it was completely worth it. Just to see her relaxed and enjoying her self and so happy. Lord knows at my wedding, I was the exact opposite. But of course, she knew all she had to do was hollar and I would do whatever she needed so she had no reason to stress. Hey, that's what I am here for! :)

A week ago was March 16. It was one month since dad died. It was a hard day. Its still hard to actually grasp that even happened. It gets a little easier as time goes on, but the thought that it actually happened and he is NOT coming back whatsoever sucks. I finished cleaning out his house with my brother and going through his boxes of stuff I brought home absolutely sucks. I can't hardly do it some days. Just different things that I find that he had or he did, it just breaks my heart. I found different things he wrote or did for softball, or us kids, or calendars and notes he wrote to remember something. It just brings it all back. And the pictures, my lands, the pictures. You just really don't realize all the time that has literally just flown by.

I help coach my daughter's softball team. On the way to practice I think about how he used to do it. He coached softball from the time I was four until 2007 when he was diagnosed. He loved softball. Next to hunting and fishing, it was his world and he was known for it. Everyone locally knew him as an awesome coach. He was really good at it. I strive to coach like he did. I learned alot from him watching him coach the last several years and remembering things he did, his attitude toward coaching his girls. "Its not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game", "you can't hit what you can't see", "pick dirt up when you catch a ball on the ground" "you hurt the ball more than it hurts you"...I still to this day hear him say those things and I catch myself repeating those phrases to my girls now. I hope one day I am half the coach he was. He was truly awesome. Some days the wind blows just right and I hear him telling the girls what to do...other times I see him on a separate field running from first base to the pitchers mound to tell his girl something. Its crazy, I know, but that ballpark was my home away from home my entire life and for years, that man ran it.

Other than that, all I have done the last several weeks is work. I am ready for a break and I get a week off in July, which can't come soon enough.

In other news, our house had a holiday last week. My son turned 7. SEVEN! I almost out of fingers for that child! I can't believe it has been 7 YEARS since I held that sweet little baby boy in my arms and just stared into his eyes. He is such a sweet and brilliant little boy who is absolutely amazed by everything around him. He has such compassion in his heart for those around him and at times he blows me away by things he comes up with, says or even does. What 7 year old child do you know will get $20.00 for his birthday and when he goes to spend it makes sure that he buys something with his money for his little sister? He's done it his entire life and I have never once told him he had or should even do it. That's the kind of sweetness he has about him. He loves to do for others and Shanna is the same way. She always buys Carson a book with her birthday money. I am so proud of my children and I love my son more than anything in the world and I cannot wait to see what life has in store for him. I just still can't believe that my son is 7. Its nuts. I don't even think I am old enough for a 7 year old sometimes!! :)

LOL...more to come later...I promise to try to post more regularly now!

I had a mommy test today....

okay, so like when Carson has one of his "episodes", which are not very often any more, I call it a mommy test now. It is a test of my ability, self control, tolerance and patience level, and how well I can bite my tounge. Let me explain, see Carson has what I believe is a mix of selective mutism and something else. We went to therapy when he was younger because he had what the therapist called "difficulties controlling and expressing frustration". You see, when we get frustrated we know how to deal and let it out in certain outlets...Carson doesn't understand how to or know how to. So he gets really really really worked up to the point that there is no way to really deal with him until he calms down and starts thinking rationally again. He can't help it, so for the most part you have to drop to his level and try to see eye to eye with him. He used to have episodes alot when he was really little, now that he's older, he doesn't have them often at all.

BUT, when he does have them...I believe it is God testing my parenting ability (to see how I handle myself), my self control (to see if I can withhold the urge to beat him to death - not seriously of course), tolerance (to see how much I can tolerate before I literally snap) and patience level (to see if I am really as patient as people claim I am) and my ability to hold my tounge (and not just start screaming at the top of my lungs every profane word in the book). Now of course, I am totally not serious in this in that I am very tolerant for the most part and I can control myself and the urges to just smack him. I simply walk away and take a few deep breaths and bring MYSELF down....but bless his heart, they really bring me to the edge of my breaking point. Tonight, we had one such episode....between dance class and ball practice.

DAnce class ended 30 minutes before ball practice started. Dance class is in Bryant, ball practice in Haskell, which is a good 20 minute drive...mind you I have to wait on princess ballerina to SLOWLY change her shoes and everyone get in the car and such...so I have to book it. Well, prince charming wanted to stop at the gas station in between which we didn't have time for. So he lost it. I took him to the bathroom (slight exaggeration there...I literally dragged him) and whipped his butt (not too hard...so don't get all "your beating your child" cause that soooo is not the case) and he ran to the car and decided he wasn't playing ball. So I let him sit for an hour in the car alone (within eye shot so its okay) and let him pout. Then I let daddy deal with him when we got home. Oh, and I grounded from every electronic outlet available to him for a week (video games, movies, computer, etc.). His life is just sooooo ruined now! But I was sooo frustrated with him at the ballpark I could have screamed. I just nearly lost it completely. Maybe I did, but I don't care. I just can't tolerate that attitude from him!! GGGRRR....

Blonde Moment for the Brunette

okay, so like I have said...I am sooo a newbie to the blogger world. I was looking at my blog's main page thing when I noticed....I HAVE A FOLLOWER!! I know her and I was just SOOOOOOOOO excited that I finally had a follower. It made my night. I know so sad....its the simple things in life that excite me! ha ha ha....So I get to looking at my blog and then I notice something else new...I have comments on some of my posts. AWESOME. I felt so goofy when I realized they were left well over a month ago and I didn't know it! So, there is my blonde moment for the month! Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude and not acknowledge. I just honestly didn't know. :)

***

We got our tax return the other day and I don't like to blow money. I really don't, but if I do spend money, I like to spend it on quality things. I am such a product junkie. Big time. And I am all about brand. Some brands don't work and others are great and some products are expensive and a total waste and some are expensive and worth every penny. Shampoo and conditioner are the expensive and worth every penny category. Hair spray is too. I use Matrix and I love it. But I wait and get it on sale. and I freak every time I do it. I like literally have a semi panick attack in the car that I just spent $20 on shampoo and conditioner (even if its the liter bottles and that's a steal!)

I wore Clinique makeup all through highschool. When I had my daughter, I became a stickler about not spending more than $5 on myself at any given time. I buy $7 mascara from walmart and I still get nauseated. I have worn cheap walmart makeup since. I am very very fair and I realized when going through pictures for Dad's funeral, that several brands that looked good in person made me look like a geisha in the pictures. more particularly, the brand I am currently wearing. Very chalky and AWFUL. My hubby decided Friday that since we got our tax return and I wouldn't have to panick so bad....that it was time for me to go back to Clinique for my makeup. I was like so excited so I went and had the little facial thing done and got my makeup. I got in the car and nearly passed out that I spent $40.00 on makeup...but at the same time, I felt so excited because I got good makeup for the first time in years!! Then I went to Target and he was like 'buy more makeup' cause I was out of nearly everything. So I got cheap eyeshadows and some lipstick and new lipglosses that are so pretty!! I was so excited! oh, and a secret....I found a product a few months ago that makes ANY eyeshadow look fantabulous on and last all day without creasing...no matter how oily your skin is...Loreal Decreaser...its an eyeshadow base and I swear by it. My eyeshadow looks good from 7:30 in the morning till midnight. Like I just put it on! LOVE IT...so there you go! Enjoy! ha ha ha...