Weekend Perfection

I had a perfectly lovely weekend. I didn't do a darn thing. It was wonderful. I cleaned all day saturday and sunday. I managed to get my room cleaned out and am soooo close to having my desk completely purged and back in order which is so awesome. My goal is to be MUCH more organized than I am. I am working on that. :) Will let you know my progress. ha ha ha.

Carson fell off a slide at school Friday. He fell about 5 1/2 feet at a run and NO ONE CALLED ME. I was so mad. I realize he didn't tell his teacher he fell off a slide and landed on his head then back when he got back to class, BUT the recess teacher's should have asked a few more questions when he told them he fell and hurt his back. That really upset me. I took him to the ER Friday when he got off the bus and found out what happened. He was complaining of back pain, he couldn't bend over and it hurt to lift his arms. So I wanted to be safe. He didn't hurt any of his bones, no fractures or anything, but he does have bruising of his muscles. So he's pretty sore. Kind of the equivelant of a car accident for him really. I felt bad for him. So he's been laying low. Since I am caught up at the house with everything and there isn't much going on, I think I may ask one of his friends to come spend the night with him Friday. That will make him happy. He's been begging for that to happen and it hasn't yet, but sister has been spending the night places and having friends come over so I need to "level the board" really. ;)

Well, I hope my Monday is as productive as my weekend was. Happy Monday to ya'll!!!

Just call me Dr.Mom / Mama Bear

Okay, so I am THAT mom. I am the mom that will not tolerate someone telling me how to raise my children. I am the mom that cries when her kids potty train because that is one less thing they need me for. I am the mom that will not think twice about raising nine kinds of hell at the doctor's office for making my child suffer unnecessarily. I am not proud of that really, but at the same time I kinda am. It is my job to make sure my children are taken care of. No matter what. I am a believer that at this stage in their lives, it is okay for them to believe in fairy tales and think Harry Potter is real and Cinderella is too (which they both know they aren't, but you get the idea). Well, the momma bear came out in me last week.


My son has asthma. It only causes problems in the fall and winter months when it is cooler outside at night. Its usually about 3:00 a.m. when he wakes up unable to breathe. He's been like this his entire life. He requires three medications during the fall/winter. Every year I take him to the doctor in the fall and get the refills for his medications. Never a problem. Well, this year, we are at a new doctors office for my children. I send my father in law with the list of his medications in an effort to make it easier for my doctor to know what we are asking for. Well, my husband arrives and the doctor has him call me and ask "how many mg is the singulair"...how do I know that? Just look in the chart. So he gets the RX's and takes them to the pharmacy. WEll, since Derek lost his job and we lost our insurance the kids are now on ARKids insurance, which is the state insurance for low income families that don't have insurance otherwise available to them. So, I go to the medicines and am told that ARKids won't cover them and its $360.00 for all three for one month. SERIOUSLY!?!?! These aren't narcotics, its asthma medication. Why would they not be covered? I about had a panic attack.


So I call ARKids first thing the next morning...on hold for over 30 minutes....finally get a human, and am told that all three are covered but the doctors have to get prior approval before ARKids will pay for them. So I immediately call the doctors office. They require a form from the pharmacy first. So I call my pharmacy. They are very kind and said they would take care of that first thing. So, I go on about my chaotic day at the office. About 4:45 p.m. it dawns on me that I never followed up. So I call the pharmacy and have them run the prescriptions for me. I'm told ARKids does not cover those prescriptions. So I ask if they have faxed the paperwork to my doctor. They said that they had. I called my doctors office, who of course said they were still waiting on the pharmacy. Well, I got VERY huffy with the doctors office. And I informed them that I would be heading to the pharmacy immediately to make sure that the fax was sent. They call me again at 5 till 5:00 and say that can't even find my son in their computers!! I went off again, they also said they still had not received anything from the pharmacy. I am fuming at this point.



Well, I get to the pharmacy forty-five minutes later (more than AN HOUR after the State closes - so no authorizations can be obtained) and the pharmacy miraculously has received the authorization and everything is taken care of. interesting huh? I still have half a mind to CHEW some doctors office out!!! gggggrrrrrrr.............

I need a vacation...from my vacation!

Okay, so basically my whole week off has been devoted to my home. We didn't do much in terms of getting to do fun stuff as a family like I had hoped. But my home is almost finished for now. So excited!! Carson's room is complete. The bathroom is lacking the trim work and the hall is 95% done on the floors and needs trim work. AFter that, its just Shanna's floors, the living room floors, painting the 5% of the living room walls that are not done, the trim work in the living room and kitchen and we are done! for at least the next 3-4 months. Then we are going to attempt starting the master bathroom, which will then lead into the master bedroom. There is not too much to be done there - So hopefully that won't take too much. I want to do my kitchen next Spring so hopefully my schedule works and the financing will be available! ;) Here's hoping!

I got back to work on Monday. Boo. I so wish I could stay at home more. LIke work part time somewhere and spend more time in the summer home with my kids. That would be spectacular but it is not in the cards for me. :(

I have had two gallbladder attacks this weekend. Painful. The nausea is coming back almost worse than the last time, however, since I was off this week - I cant really go in for surgery in the next week or two and be off another half a week. That would really be bad - so my plan is to hopefully make it to the fall when my boss will be out another week and try to do it around then so I don't have to worry about her being at the office trying to fend for herself. That will take some stress off of me.

Well, that's all for now I guess. Just wanted to update the progress of my house! I am so excited that it is almost whole again.

Okay, I know I know...

I've been gone...again....I will get better I promise!! I am trying reeallllllyyyy hard to be more organized and on top of things. But, that in itself is a challenge. So, I promise to try to blog more regularly. We had our tournament Saturday at our park. The entire "fest" itself was a success. The kids had a blast. Our girls could have played better, but given all the other things to do, they weren't really into it. So we placed 3rd in our own tournament, but its all good. They had fun and we got done what we needed. and I got a much needed "date night" with the hubby afterwards, even though I was nearly comatose from exhaustion and sunburned like crazy, we still had a nice time catching up with some old friends. We have district tournament this weekend, so wish us luck!!! Then we will get a month or so off before we gear up for fall ball! Woo Hoo!! :)

On a personal note, the last blog I had (that I screwed up so bad) detailed in more detail the personal health issues I have been having. For the most part, after the CT scan showed nothing and I made it through the hardcore antibiotics I was given, I figured all would be fine...no such luck...it seems that my symptoms are creeping up one by one instead of hitting me all at once like last time, so I am going to have to go back to the doctor to find out what the deal is. So boo about that.

In other news, my kiddos are out for the Summer! Carson could not be more excited. Shanna is excited too, but she's been out for a week without bubba so she's not as stoked any more. Its "routine" for her now. ha ha ha....We are planning on going to the Memphis Zoo with them for a few days in July when hubby and I are both off so they are enjoying "planning" that out for us at the moment. Well, enough ketchup for now.....until next time!!

Opportunity knocks...to answer the door, or pretend I'm not home?

Its been a busy, wet, long couple of days.

We had a ball tournament Friday and SAturday. I was pumped about the tournament. Friday night we lost (because the ump was a lazy tard). I love softball. If you can't tell and it makes me IRATE when we have a dumb umpire. UGH. Read your rule book and take off the sunglasses that are obviously hindering your freaking vision! okay, nuff of that!

So Saturday morning, I get up super early and go yard saling at this nice neighborhood yardsale. I scored the most beautiful fake pearl and diamond bracelet for $4! I will get a pic of it later. Its gorgeous. I was so proud :)

We get to the ball park at about 9:30 a.m. and it is storming. So of course they call of the games. No big deal, I have a bunch of stuff do at home. We go to Home Depot and bought the paint for Sha Bug's room. We go have dinner at Grandma's Saturday night to make up for the next day when we wouldn't be having the usual lunch with her. While we are there, I about die I start hurting so bad. Not sure what the deal was, but it was miserable. So I ended up in bed early and all day Sunday. I didn't get squat done.

Today, however, I was presented with an opportunity. It is really flattering that I was offered this but I am not sure I can handle it. It may (as much as I hate to admit this) be too much. However, I have gotten completely positive feedback from my few family members I trust completely and confided in...I am pondering the decision tonight even though I kina already sorta accepted. I will give more details later when everything is done in stone. However, in order to be on top of this my hubby just asks that I get on top of everything at home. Which I am not.

So in my attempts to prove that I am Super Mom (which I so am not, but would love to be) I have attempted the impossible tonight. My desk in my room. Which I swear has been literally BURIED under paper, receipts, miscellaneous junk, mail, and anything and everything you could think from the last 5 months. I have not even attempted to clean my desk in months. It just kept getting worse and worse and I kept putting it off. So, I decided tonight, I will become organized. So to keep me motivated, I am going to set a goal for my self at least weekly. We will see how long this last, but it is my goal to be completely OCD and on top of every aspect of my life. I want to be organized like a stay at home wife and mom, but be everything else too. :) My son told me once I was supermom and I about cried because I knew it was so far from the truth. And with DAd's death and everything going on around me, I have just felt completely fallen through the cracks. So, I am shaping up! :) Wish me luck!

So far, you can now see my desk, I have gotten rid of the trash and enourmous amount of dust on everything...I am serious when I say I have avoided this part of my room like the plague....and I have three 2 feet tall stack of papers to go through and sort and place or whatever....FUN FUN FUN...I have fun night ahead of me tomorrow since there is no ball games! WOO HOO....

Grateful...very very grateful

Well, yesterday was the day. I went to the doctor to find out the results of my ct the day before. I was sitting on the table and all I heard when the doctor walked in was "blah blah blah...which surgeon in town do you want to use?" Mom was with me and she said you could just see the color drain from my face. My mind went completely blank...I literally said "uuggghhh..wh..what..huh..why do I have....surgery?" I am sure I sounded like a pathetic mess. I almost started bawling. He was like "um, your ct was CLEAR....so you have to have a colonoscopy". Ha. So, if I would LISTEN that might actually help things! So, good news, my ct was perfect. My abdoment, colon, intestestines, uterus, ovaries and pelvic area show absolutely no abnormalities andlook wonderfully healthy! Praise the Lord!! I was so scared. Like to the point of tears. But the bad news is...I get to have a colonoscopy when I am through with my antibiotics. Yuck. Yuck isn't even the word. UGH.

So last night as I made my wonderfully wonderful biscuits and gravy from scratch I was thinking about how relieved and grateful I was for a clear ct. I got to thinking about the wonderful things I am so thankful for.

1. My husband. I am so lucky to have someone in my life that I can share everything with. He drives me absolutely batty and sometimes (like later last night) I want to hit upside the head with my favorite skillet (the cast iron one he bought me for easter - awwww) but nevertheless, he is my best friend and the other half of me and I absolutely adore him for that. : )

2. My kids. I still can't believe I am even old enough to have an almost 6 year old and a 7 year old (some would argue that I am not) but they amaze me every day with their brilliance and innocence. They are my sole reason for getting up every morning (literally, cause without me they would not make it to school ha ha ha! j/k) and I can't remember how I functioned before without them.

3. My friends. I remember after my kids were born, I honestly had three friends. My husband, and my two best girlfriends. One, BArbie, who I have had since I was 13. who is not my best friend anymore. She is my sister. I have considered her my sister for some time now and I tell people she is my sister. I love her dearly and there is not a thing in the world I wouldn't do for her. She doesn't live close by so I hardly see her, maybe once or twice a year, but I talk to her all the time and I miss her dearly. the other, Brooke, has been my best friend since Derek and I started dating. Her husband is Derek's best friend so we are together every day. I remember how lonely I would get after my kids were born because I went from having tons of friends to having three and it broke my heart. I didn't feel welcome anywhere without them with me. I was depressed and lonely. NOw, I have a great group of friends that I would not trade for the world. I love seeing them all and I am so grateful that they are in my life.

4. My grams and my mom. I know that without these two women, I would not be the person I am today. They are the strongest women I know. The things these women have experienced in their lives is almost at times straight out of a soap opera and its a wonder that they both haven't been committed! I know if I experienced half of what my grams has, I would have to be! I love them dearly and can't imagine life without either of them.

5. Vanilla Rootbeer from Sonic. Ha ha ha..I know! My life owuld not e complete without it! :)

Well, I enough of my ramblings for the day!! I am off to see my lil super hero play some ball tonight. Wish us luck!!

CT day...

okay, well, I had my ct scan this morning. Boo. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it was by no means a wonderful experience.

I spent half the day there and I am still recuperating. I have never felt so blah in my entire life. I feel as though I have ran a three day marathon and I think pregnancy morning sickness is BY FAR less excrutiating than the nausea I have dealt with all day. I think an order of Finegrin (spell check anyone?) will be on the menu when I meet with the doc tomorrow to discuss the findings (if any...wouldn't that be something? Get there and this is all nothing and completely in my head - I think I would rejoice!).

I got there an hour and a half early - per their request - and filled out the paperwork (all 2 pages of it that took less than five minutes mind you) and then when my appointment time rolled around I went back and had the first scan done. I laid up on the bed and squeezed my eyes shut and rocked in and out of this machine. I tried to picture myself on some funky ride at Disney World. (I know right?). This wasn't a big deal but for some reason when it comes to me dealing with machines like this that I don't deal with regularly, I realize I watch too much t.v. and I have serious anxiety issues.

Well, after round 1, I got to drink TWO LARGE cups of "pink lemonade"...or in medical terminology terms - contrast...I thought I was going to be sick. I love pink lemonade. I prefer it over regular lemonade most of the time. But I haven't been able to hold much down without a struggle for over a week now and this was really really hard. I was so nauseated that it took every ounce of will power in my being to keep it down. After about forty-five minutes I went back in there. I had to drink ANOTHER 1/4 of cup of it and then they put an iv in me with more! I swear!! I HATE needles...HATE. I don't do well with needles. AT ALL. Like a five year old, I had my mommy with me and she had to hold my hand and talk to me while they did the iv. It hurt so bad. I have hard veins to get anyway and she had to poke me three times. All I could think about was a month ago when they tried to draw Carson's blood while he was sick and he was screaming for dear life and begging me to make them quit. I think it made me stronger and more able to deal. I just closed me eyes, squeezed my mother's thumb till it was purple (no exaggeration) and pictured my little boy there holding me like I did him. Bless his heart. I came home and showed him the little marks and told him mommy didn't cry because he was such a big boy when he had it done. You should have seen the pride in his face. He was so proud of mommy for being a "big girl" ha ha ha...

So then I rocked back and forth some more with tubes coming out of my arms. Then I got sick all over again. I swear...that contrast did not agree with my stomach AT ALL. I barely made it home where I had to sit for like over an hour waiting on something to kick in and make it stop! It was HORRIBLE. I will never do that again if I can help it and I swear if I do, I ain't going to work afterward for sure!! I have felt like I was going to throw up all afternoon. They should really give out something for that afterward. They surely didn't warn me about it!

So, there has been my pleasant day! I hope ya'lls was by far better! I am off to bed now where hopefully the Mr. will feel sorry for me and massage my back cause it is also throbbing.....I think I am falling apart! :)

Keep me in your prayers tomorrow that this is nothing and it all works out in the end!! Nighty night.

Monday Monday!!

Well, we had a ball game tonight. Carson's team lost but they did good. I love going to his games. I have so much fun. In years past I have kinda been alone and not had anyone to really talk to so I was so relieved when I realized I knew another mom!! Its an old friend from highschool and it has been great catching up. And even better, there is a second mom who's daughter is on my softball team so I have people to talk to and stuff at the games. Its so nice. I love it. :)

I have my ct scan done tomorrow. They think I have divroticulitis and I get to start the testing for that. I am scared as hell. I hope hope hope hope hope that they are wrong and I just have some sort of like constipation issue or something! I would be pissed that I stressed for nothing but absolutely relieved that nothing serious is wrong. So keep me in your prayers! I see the doctor on WEdnesday afternoon to discuss the results.

In other news, I might get me a new baby! I am so excited. I have a friend who has a friend who has a friend (I know right?) that has 2 yorkies that she has to give away. She can't take care of them any more (don't know why, but I don't care!) and I sooooo miss my baby Brody. Derek said if we got another yorkie it had to be free and it couldn't be a puppy. He wanted one that was at least a year or two old so it was hopefully housebroke and fixed! Well these girls are fixed and 4 and FREE!! Woo Hoo! I haven't heard back on it yet, but I hope so much it all works out. I was sick (literally) for like a month and to this day tear up when I think about Brody. It devestated me when he was snatched (I guess he could have ran off since my hubby was such a moron and wasn't paying attention and just left him outside unattended - but he would rarely leave the porch much less get half way up to the road, so I think he was snatched) and I miss my darling baby so much. I threw up for two days when it happend I was so upset. I even left work early and me and my friend spent 6 HOURS going door to door. I was like a mother who literally just lost her child. It was devestating. I have wanted a yorkie for 10 years, I finally got one and Derek lost him! It broke me. So I really really really hope this works out! I will let you know of course!! It would definitely brighten up my week to get two new baby girls! :)

Speaking of getting a baby girl, keep your fingers crossed for my friend, who wants to adopt a baby girl that needs a loving home. She is currently in foster care and my friend is such a good mom...that baby girl would be so lucky to be part of that family. They are really wonderful people and she just really wants it so bad for all the right reasons. I have been praying that it would work out for them. I would love to do that more than anything and I have wanted to for a long time, I am just not in any position to be able to. Fortunately for this little girl, my friend is! So here's hoping! :)

story of my life...

Well, my week has been completely craptastic. I have not been able to eat more than LITERALLY a bite of food for a week now. I have been forcing myself to eat more the last two days b/c I know it is dangerous to go this long without proper nutrition. But I can't do it hardly. I feel like I have eaten ten Thanksgiving dinners after two bites. And that is going 24 hours or more between "meals", if you would even call them that. It's ridiculous. On top of that and a few more personal issues, I have had abdominal pain that won't go away for three weeks now. It started as food poisening a few weeks ago, it got better but the pain never went away. Now its to the point that it really hurts and its making me nervous. So, I suck it up and go to the doctor yesterday. Now, a little history, I have EVERYTHING running through my genetic makeup. This is no exageration. You name it, I have a family history of it. My mother has been sick with several forms of cancer (some of which she has beat, some she is still to this day fighting) and other serious medical conditions since I was 13. My grandmother also has several severe medical issues that can be handed down...so I don't do doctors or medicine. I hate medicine. I don't like feeling loopy or doped up and I don't like doctors b/c I don't believe all of them have your best interests at heart. I also don't want to know what medical conditions I inherited from my family...I just as soon not know and live a full happy life then know and spend the rest of my life tired from treatment. Well, because of the pain, I had to go. And sure enough. They are pretty sure that I have one of my mother's wonderful conditions. Now, right now its kinda serious b/c of the infection I currently have. I am afraid if they are right that it could explode at any second, but they have me on some serious antibiotics so I should be fine. But once I get the scans and stuff next week we should be okay and I will just have to make some lifestyle changes. I will have to live with this forever, but I think I will be okay. But still, it sucks. and I am a chicken and therefore, terrified. I don't want to be the sick mommy. I want to be the fun and active and carefree mommy. The mommy who worries about whether or not her daughter is having fun at school and whether or not her son is doing his best in class. Not the mommy who has to worry about prescriptions at the pharmacy and taking medicine every day and whether or not I will feel well enough to do something later. Plus, its not fair to my husband to have to pick up my slack like he has had to the last couple of weeks. This week especially. I have been useless. I will not. I refuse. Yes, like I said, I am super stubborn in this department.

On a more positive note, I am hopelessly addicted to the Twilight Soundtrack. I don't know why. But I love it! You should check it out. : ) leave out all the rest by Linkin Park and Supermassive Black Hole by Muse are probably my faves on the CD followed by the 2 songs by Paramoure that are on their. :)

Okay, well, that is all for now!! Talk to you later!!

The last Three Weeks....from you know where

Well, I know I have been gone a while...the last three weeks have been a nightmare. First, you know I was sick. Got over it and moved on. Missed one day of work. Boo. I hate missing work for a whole day and I rarely do unless the office is closed and sometimes not even then. But if the office is open, I hate not being there. Stuff piles up, and it is just not pleasant.

The next week, Carson is sick. Bad. And Shanna. Carson has strep and its miss diagnosed for the whole week. He threw up from Sunday through Thursday. Thursday he ended up in the hospital for him to be diangosed with dehydration and an ear infection on top of it. Something apparently his doc couldn't diagnose at the clinic. FRUSTRATING!!!!! I missed two days of work.

The next week took the cake. On Monday, February 16, 2009, the Lord called my Dad home. I was at work and got the call around 2 that he had less than 24 hours. Since I had missed Wednesday and Thursday the week before, I HAD to get a few more things done. I left at 3 and around 4:45 he was gone. I was there with my siblings. It was the hardest thing I have ever done was watch my dad, the strongest man I ever knew growing up, take his last dying breath. It was devestating. The week was spent making funeral arrangements. I worked part of the day Wednesday and was going to work all day Thursday b/c the visitation wasn't until Friday night and the funeral Saturday morning. The school called at 1:00 and said Shanna had diahrrea. So I went to get her. I passed out at home from shear exhaustion and woke up at 7:00 p.m. with fever. I had strep throat. I was freaking out. My hubby got me antibiotics the next morning and the next two days I was in a medicated fog. I barely made it through everything and finally had my breakdown on Sunday night when I was home alone and the kids were in bed and hubby was at work.

The last three weeks have been torture. I am looking for some sunny skys and good times. But I still miss my dad and haven't yet hit the realization that he is gone. We were at the ball park and it just broke my heart that he wasn't going to be there anymore. He loved that ball park. He spent the last twenty years there and he is gone. It is going to take more than I thought to heal.

Friday Night Fish Fry

We had a fish fry, our family tradition, at my sister's house Friday night. It was so much fun. It was the first time that we have had ALL 14 grandkids and all 8 siblings and their signficant others, with the exception of my hubby and my sister's hubby, present. So there were nearly 30 people there just in our immediate family! crazy huh? It was a blast and I believe that my dad really enjoyed it. I am sure it was nice for him to have all of his kids and grandbabies around. ;)



Me n my dadL-R; F-B: Katrina, Haley, Emma, Aaron, Carson, Andrew, Elizabeth (holding Braylee), Anna, Dad, Kaelyn, Austin, Shanna, Keaton, and Tyler!!

I had such a blast spending time with all of them.

*****

Fast forward two days...and I am spending a day at home on my hubby's birthday doing absolutely nothing, when I should be doing a million things, with a severe headache and a sick baby boy. Boo. I feel so bad for him. His asthma is really acting up and he's congested and the sinus draining is making him throw up. He's just miserable. :( Its a short week for him at school, so I am hoping he is feeling better soon.

Tuesday Randamity

I was so sick for the last two days...did you miss me? ha ha .... I thought I was going to die I was so miserable.

So, even though it is Tuesday, today was my Monday. And what a Monday it was. The office was chaotic as usual. Coming home was much better. I am in serious need of some R&R...

Our house is coming along..slowly...but coming along. If it ever gets done I will be so excited.

told you it was randamity today...