DARK + SILENCE + COOL AIR = PERFECTION.

The weather in Arkansas this week has been so fabulous. I just want to jump on a fourwheeler and ride off. Its so cool and crisp and clear, the suns not been out too much and its just got that fall feel to it. Last night I was sitting on my porch and it was chilly out and I just loved it. It doesn't get better than that. It made me remember some times in high school. My mom had an early 90's model caravan and when I needed to chill out and relax and sort of refocus and clear my head, I would make a mug of hot spearmint tea, climb up onto the top of mom's van (obviously I was tiny and didn't break anything by doing this) and would sip my tea and breathe the cool night air and then when I finished my tea, I would lay on the top of the van and stare at the stars. I would sit out there for hours. Once or twice I fell asleep out there and the only reason I woke up was because Mom would come out side and hollar my name and it would wake me up. :) I apparently got too relaxed some days. I miss those times. I loved it. She thought I was a nut, hell, everyone that knew I did that thought I was a nut, but it was so peaceful. I just remember thinking that how could anyone look at that sky and not believe in God? Its just not possible. That kind of beauty just doesn't create itself. And it never looked exactly the same night after night. Some stars were brighter, some dimmer, some would shimmer one night and not the next and it just was calming. Some days, when it was a really rough day, I would go outside and talk to my (biological) dad. Being outside at night and staring at the sky would just make it seem that he was so much closer. I usually felt better after I did. Now, I have lost so many people that I love that its hard to decide who to talk to, so instead I just remember and pray. Since I don't have mom's big ole van, I lay outside on my picnic table and stare at the stars. I don't have as much sky to look at because I am surrounded by trees instead of a big open field like at our old house, but its still the same. and just as relaxing. Oh, and I traded my tried and true spearmint tea for something better. Vanilla Caramel. Its so yummy and just wonderful. I love it the most at Christmas time. Its like the Christmas cookie scented candles and when you wrap in a warm blanket and sit in a solid dark house with nothing but the twinkling white lights of my christmas tree...its just perfect. :) I think I have just convinced myself to go outside and enjoy the cool air for a bit before heading to the bed. Sounds just perfect right about now. Nighty night!!