story of my life...

Well, my week has been completely craptastic. I have not been able to eat more than LITERALLY a bite of food for a week now. I have been forcing myself to eat more the last two days b/c I know it is dangerous to go this long without proper nutrition. But I can't do it hardly. I feel like I have eaten ten Thanksgiving dinners after two bites. And that is going 24 hours or more between "meals", if you would even call them that. It's ridiculous. On top of that and a few more personal issues, I have had abdominal pain that won't go away for three weeks now. It started as food poisening a few weeks ago, it got better but the pain never went away. Now its to the point that it really hurts and its making me nervous. So, I suck it up and go to the doctor yesterday. Now, a little history, I have EVERYTHING running through my genetic makeup. This is no exageration. You name it, I have a family history of it. My mother has been sick with several forms of cancer (some of which she has beat, some she is still to this day fighting) and other serious medical conditions since I was 13. My grandmother also has several severe medical issues that can be handed down...so I don't do doctors or medicine. I hate medicine. I don't like feeling loopy or doped up and I don't like doctors b/c I don't believe all of them have your best interests at heart. I also don't want to know what medical conditions I inherited from my family...I just as soon not know and live a full happy life then know and spend the rest of my life tired from treatment. Well, because of the pain, I had to go. And sure enough. They are pretty sure that I have one of my mother's wonderful conditions. Now, right now its kinda serious b/c of the infection I currently have. I am afraid if they are right that it could explode at any second, but they have me on some serious antibiotics so I should be fine. But once I get the scans and stuff next week we should be okay and I will just have to make some lifestyle changes. I will have to live with this forever, but I think I will be okay. But still, it sucks. and I am a chicken and therefore, terrified. I don't want to be the sick mommy. I want to be the fun and active and carefree mommy. The mommy who worries about whether or not her daughter is having fun at school and whether or not her son is doing his best in class. Not the mommy who has to worry about prescriptions at the pharmacy and taking medicine every day and whether or not I will feel well enough to do something later. Plus, its not fair to my husband to have to pick up my slack like he has had to the last couple of weeks. This week especially. I have been useless. I will not. I refuse. Yes, like I said, I am super stubborn in this department.

On a more positive note, I am hopelessly addicted to the Twilight Soundtrack. I don't know why. But I love it! You should check it out. : ) leave out all the rest by Linkin Park and Supermassive Black Hole by Muse are probably my faves on the CD followed by the 2 songs by Paramoure that are on their. :)

Okay, well, that is all for now!! Talk to you later!!